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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23981284">All the Reasons Why</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotus/pseuds/lavenderlotus'>lavenderlotus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>"All the Reasons Why" Universe [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Total Drama (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Attempted Sexual Assault, Babies are all grown up!!, Duncney - Freeform, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Law School Courtney, Making Out, Post-Total Drama (Cartoon) Season/Series 07, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:29:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,458</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23981284</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotus/pseuds/lavenderlotus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There were a million reasons why they wouldn't work out – why they didn't work out. Courtney had started compiling a list of reasons why her relationship with Duncan utterly failed fresh out of their widely publicized breakup. And it was totally okay to still be adding to that list, even seven years after their breakup... Right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bridgette/Geoff (Total Drama), Courtney/Duncan (Total Drama)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>"All the Reasons Why" Universe [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834540</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Courtney knew it was absolutely insane. Psychotic, even. Bridgette had told her so on multiple occasions, as did Geoff, even Courtney’s own therapist had tried to say so as politely as possible whenever “the list” got brought up. Bridgette used to joke that Courtney’s obsession edged Sierra out because, “Not even Sierra’s blogs lived up to Courtney’s color coordination”. All Courtney could do in response was sulk, but even she herself knew that holding onto something as tenacious as this was, for lack of better words, batshit crazy. </p><p>
  <em>Reason #1: Let’s start with the obvious – he CHEATED on you.</em>
</p><p>There were a million reasons why they wouldn’t work out – why they <em>didn’t </em>work out. Courtney had started compiling a list of reasons why her relationship with Duncan utterly failed fresh out of their widely publicized breakup. And yes, it was color categorized – a red folder for all the reasons why she hated him, a blue one for all of the times he failed to meet her standards, etc. Then those categories got broken down into subcategories (like the time Duncan got himself locked out of his house and tried to get back in through the chimney and of course, got stuck. <em>She </em>was the one who had to call the fire department to pry him out. Should that be filed under the “Reasons Why Duncan is an Idiot” folder or the “Reasons Why Duncan Should Never Have Kids” folder?). It had started as a coping mechanism, a concrete way to tangibly see why she should move on faster. Visual proof as to why he didn’t deserve her. And it had worked! Well, sort of. </p><p>“Hello Courtney! Earth to loser!” A tinkling voice jolted Courtney out of her thoughts. Annoyed, Courtney turned to the culprit that dared to snap their acrylics in her face. “Pay attention!”</p><p>“I am paying attention, you dolt.” Courtney growled. “<em>You’re</em> the one who insisted on reviewing the case reading individually, instead of reading it last night like we were supposed to. Unlike you, I actually do my homework.” The girl in question merely rolled her eyes and laid her pen down next to her assortment of highlighters on her desk.</p><p>Paris was the type of girl that still hung around her sorority from undergrad, despite having graduated at least two years ago. She was also the type of girl whose father likely donated (read: bribed) a significant amount of money to USC, thus paving (also read: paying) her way into law school. She was the type of student that made professors go back to previous slides because she couldn’t write her notes fast enough with her absurd arsenal of pens, highlighters, and God knows what else in her stupidly small designer bag. What Paris majored in her undergraduate career, Courtney had no idea, but such was the price of attending a notoriously controversial school that was the University of Southern California. </p><p>Unfortunately, Paris also reminded Courtney of Lindsay. The two could be cousins, if not sisters with identical blonde hair, blue eyes, angular faces, mini eyebrows and well-endowed busts. However, their similarities diverged the moment Courtney had the displeasure of speaking to Paris for the first time. She thought she hated Lindsay, but this girl… Was far, far worse. Upon first impressions, the Lindsay look-alike not only managed to spill her iced coffee all over Courtney’s <em>white</em> blouse, but also loudly demanded that Courtney buy her a new drink, claiming it was <em>Courtney’s </em>fault (which it wasn’t and she absolutely didn’t, much to Paris’s indignation). As a result of the cruel fate of the universe, they were randomly paired as partners shortly after. Courtney swore that if it ever came down to spending an entire day between Paris or Lindsay, she would choose Lindsay in a heartbeat – which said a lot, seeing as she was stuck on a damn island for years with the latter imbecile. </p><p>But at least with Lindsay, she wouldn’t have to deal with…</p><p>“Professor Moreno!” Paris sang as she waved over to the man making his rounds around the class. His face lit up as he all but ran over to them. </p><p><em>This.</em> Paris had their professor wrapped around her acrylic tipped pinky. Had Courtney not been the top of their class, she knew that Professor Moreno would have made Courtney’s life hell with Paris’s barrage of complaints against her. </p><p>It wasn’t like Courtney had anything against people playing teacher’s pet. Oh no –  if anything, she encouraged it. But it mattered to her when people merely coasted along in a class without doing any work to back up said ass kissing. It infuriated her to no end when people didn’t at least <em>attempt </em>to do the work, because there were no such things as easy way outs in life.</p><p>Unless you were blonde, rich, and spoiled like Paris.  </p><p>“Paris, how can I service – erm, I mean be of service – to you today?” The overeager professor came wagging, tail between his legs. <em>Pathetic.</em></p><p>“I had a question about the case reading, but Courtney here wouldn’t help me.” Paris jutted out her lower lip and batted her eyelash extensions. “I was wondering if you could clarify this divorce case example.” </p><p>Courtney gritted her teeth as Professor Moreno swiveled an accusatory glare to Courtney, only to stop dead at the frightening expression she wore. He hastily turned back to the case reading.</p><p><em>This class is an utter waste of time,</em> Courtney scowled to herself. This elective law class, Intro to Divorce and Family Mediation, had absolutely nothing to do with her emphasis in Corporate Law. Unfortunately, it was the only class that fit with her work schedule. Courtney despised group work, which was what the majority of her grade rode on in this class. </p><p>“So basically, this passage is highlighting that adultery in California is not illegal, unlike other more traditional states in America.” Courtney felt her eye twitch. “In California, you can get divorced if your spouse suffers from either insanity or if the two spouses have ‘irreconcilable differences’. Generally, judges aren’t allowed to consider marital misconduct when regarding alimony -” </p><p>“Sorry professor, but could you speak English please?” Paris asked sweetly. </p><p>Courtney sighed. “The lesson here is that if your husband or wife cheats in a marriage, it doesn’t matter to the judge when it comes down to splitting the money. In this example, it’s the husband that cheats.” She resisted the urge to tack on an insult. </p><p>Paris scanned the reading again and wrinkled her nose. “Ew. So even though the husband spent money on his side ho– I mean mistress with their shared bank account, the wife can’t get her money back?”</p><p>Professor Moreno hesitated. “Well… Again, generally speaking, yes. Infidelity is ultimately not a factor that judges are concerned with in California.”</p><p>“That is so tacky.” Paris huffed. “I hate cheaters, Professor.” It was the first time all semester that Courtney found herself agreeing with her. “Like one time, my ex-boyfriend…”</p><p>As Courtney tuned the rambling devil incarnate out, her thoughts went back to the case reading at hand. Courtney’s eyebrows furrowed as she read over the highlighted texts again. While the example in their case notes had been a hypothetical situation, it didn’t bother her any less that the woman couldn’t make any legal notions for a reimbursement. From an objective standpoint, it unfortunately made sense. After all, what Professor Moreno had said was true – such personal matters did not tangle itself with the law.</p><p>From Courtney’s personal bias however, she wanted the fictional man in the passage example to go to hell.</p><p><em>I bet Duncan wouldn’t have reimbursed me, </em>Courtney thought darkly. </p><p>
  <em>Reason #42: Time is money. Look at how you spent both on him. </em>
</p><p>At the thought of time, Courtney glanced at the clock at the far end of the classroom and sighed. Only one hour of this class was left, but the day was far from over.</p>
<hr/><p>The Los Angeles sun, though dimming into the beginnings of night, didn’t fail to warm Courtney’s freckled cheeks as she strode purposely through USC’s massive campus. Finally, <em>finally</em> classes were done for the day. Her shoulders ached from stress and books. Normally she stayed on campus until 8 PM when her moot court team meetings finished, sometimes even later to work at the library, but today the meeting had been miraculously cancelled. It was the best news she had received all week.</p><p> Aside from the few stray leaves that floated down to Courtney’s feet, there was no sign of fall in the baking L.A. heat. <em>Los Angeles sure doesn’t experience seasons the way Toronto does</em>, Courtney absentmindedly noted to herself as she finally made her way to one of the many parking garages on campus. The Southern Californian fall and winter seasons were almost laughable in comparison to Toronto’s own winter wonderlands, but Courtney was glad for it. Walking past each grand Romanesque Revival-designed building on campus served as a substantial reminder of her new life. Not to say she didn’t miss Toronto, albeit rarely. In those fleeting moments, she did what she did best – reminded herself of all the reasons she left.</p><p>Her parents were initially surprised at her choice of law school. After being accepted into every law school she had applied to, they certainly hadn’t expected her to choose one out of the country. But not only did USC have one of the best law schools in the United States, they were also so rich that the top students’ research in the program was fully funded by the school, no matter the cost. Besides, if she ever planned on running for office, she actually had to live in a country where that would be possible. The controversial reputation of the school was just an added bonus. </p><p><em>After all</em>, she thought wryly to herself,<em> a controversial school for a controversial girl. </em></p><p>“Hey! You’re that chick from that one TV show, right?” A voice suddenly called out. In front of her was a young girl, a fellow student based on the backpack that hung low on her shoulders. “Yeah you! You dated that one really hot guy!”</p><p>Courtney’s jaw slacked in indignation. The words “<em>that really hot guy”</em> rang in her ears and she could feel an angry flush start to creep up on her neck. Clearly this girl didn’t make it past the first season, not that Courtney blamed her. She turned her nose up in the air. “Ugh sure, if you have a thing for cheating convicts. He’s trash.”</p><p>“Oh…” The girl’s former compliment hung in the air like a limp sock. “Can I still get a picture with you?” </p><p>Much as she tried to escape Total Drama, Duncan, and her 16-year-old self, it nevertheless got brought up in every single interview she had when applying to potential law schools. Hell – every interview of her life in general. While it wasn’t exactly an unanticipated attack, any mention of her ex-boyfriend never failed to send an unpleasant jolt throughout her body. Like a broken record, she would have to repeat the same lines her PR agent fed her every time – <em>“As a kid, I didn't understand the power of certain words and how they can hurt. Those actions do not reflect the person I am today, and I sincerely apologize.”</em> Then she would have to elaborate on how she “learned from the experience” by flaunting her list of accomplishments and accolades, how she became a better person afterward, etc. <em>That </em>part of the conversation she enjoyed, but the means to approach it were less than ideal.  </p><p>Courtney grimaced, recalling the grueling hours spent trying to salvage her reputation as she walked away from the “fan”. Even after all these years Courtney couldn’t believe people still recognized her from the show.</p><p>
  <em>Reason #58: Every fan mentions him when they meet me. I’m my own person too!</em>
</p><p>Courtney sighed as she unceremoniously plopped into her car. She was exhausted. Luckily, she didn’t have her paralegal internship today, but she did have a long night of case readings to catch up on. With another sigh at that thought, she pulled out of the parking garage and glanced in the rearview mirror. She caught a glimpse of her brown eyes sagged by dark undereye circles. </p><p>It wasn’t like she didn’t enjoy law school. Hell, she loved it. She genuinely enjoyed the thrill of getting cold-called, of seeing her peers’ awed looks at her contributions to discussions, the pure elation of winning a long rally, and that sweet moment of victory when hearing her opponent stumble on their words. But going straight into law school right after completing her undergraduate degree (magna cum laude, of course) was… tiring, to say the least. Especially when moving 2,518 miles away from home straightaway. Not only that, but balancing law school, along with her position on USC’s prestigious moot court team, her unpaid paralegal internship (seriously, you’d think a law firm could spare the extra cash), and a working as a server part-time was more than enough to completely drain her of any potential free days. </p><p>Pulling into the designated parking spot of her apartment building – lord forbid the day she’d ever have to battle for street parking in L.A. – the pinked rays of sunset disappeared from her rearview mirror and the shadows of the gray garage engulfed her car. As she juggled her books to open her apartment door, she fleetingly wondered if it was a Postmates kind of night, or if she’d actually muster the energy to cook something.</p><p>“I’m home!” Courtney called out into her apartment. A resounding emptiness was her only reply.</p><p>In the living room, a tripod was set up in front of their couch, but Geoff and his camera were nowhere in sight. An assortment of clip-on mics lay in a tangled heap below. He was either finished vlogging for the day or just getting started. </p><p>“<em>Come on Court, our apartment’s gonna throw the sickest parties L.A. has ever seen!” </em>Courtney recalled Geoff whooping as he was trying to convince her to move in with them. <em>“And once Bridgette gets her surf shop up and running, you’re gonna be able to meet some super hot Californian dudes! You have to move in with us!” </em></p><p>Courtney mentally scoffed. As “enticing” as Geoff’s pitch was, it did eventually prove to be beneficial to have people on her side in this unfamiliar city. Even if said people sometimes neglected the chore chart. </p><p>She resisted the overwhelming urge to belly flop onto the plush living room couch. Instead she cast it a longing look and resigned herself to sit at the dining room table. She knew if she tried to study in her room, she would “somehow” wind up in her bed instead. </p><p>An hour passed and the only sound throughout the silent apartment was the tapping of Courtney’s apple pen against her iPad. Her eyes drifted to the case reading from earlier. Despite the class being a complete joke, the case reading from her Intro to Divorce and Family Mediation kept poking at her subconscious, like a prickly tag in a new shirt. </p><p><em>What am I doing? </em>Courtney scolded herself as her hands tapped open her Intro to Divorce and Family Mediation notes. <em>This is so not what I need right now! </em>Despite herself, she expanded the case brief to re-read it. </p><p>
  <em>John and Jane were married for 8 years before their divorce case went to court. They have no children. Jane claims that John used their joint marital assets on his mistress and wants at least 75% reimbursement of the money spent. John denies this and claims his spendings were his own separate property expenditures… </em>
</p><p>Courtney sighed. The case example continued on the next page, but she swiped away and out of her notes. Without tangible proof, there was no way that Jane was going to get a reimbursement of any sort, if at all. As spouses were fiduciaries to one another, of course it made sense that poor Jane would want her money back. Courtney’s blood boiled at the thought. How could he do that to Jane?! She probably loved him, took care of him, cooked him his favorite meals… Rubbed his feet at night…. Helped him with his homework over FaceTime… Stupid men. Stupid cheaters.</p><p>Stupid Duncan. </p><p>“I need to go back to therapy,” Courtney moaned as she all but tossed her iPad away. </p><p>
  <em>BANG!</em>
</p><p>A telling sign of Geoff. She’d run out of fingers if she counted the amount of times she told him not to fling the front door open with such force. Courtney raised a brow at the outpouring of additional voices that suddenly flooded the apartment. She didn’t move from her spot, silently willing that Geoff and whoever else he was with would have the courtesy to leave her alone.</p><p>She should have known better.</p><p>“Courtney!” Bridgette exclaimed with a too high, too panicked look. She stopped dead in her tracks in the foot of the doorway. Courtney noticed the absurd amount of alcohol handles Bridgette was sporting in her reusable tote bag and raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing home?!”</p><p>“Should I have somewhere else to be instead, Bridgette?” Courtney asked sarcastically. She looked down to methodically file her schoolwork away in her preferred order. No sense in studying in the dining room anymore, especially if Geoff had guests over. “Or was my presence not accounted for in my own home?” </p><p>“Uh…” Bridgette trailed off. It was only then Courtney looked back up at the girl in front of her. </p><p>How rude. “Was it not?” Courtney snapped. </p><p>“It’s just…” Bridgette wrung her hands. The alcohol handles clinked together with a nervous chime. “Don’t you normally have moot court until 8 on Fridays?”</p><p>“It got cancelled today,” Courtney raised another eyebrow at the uncharacteristically antsy girl in front of her. Bridgette’s eyes were wide and kept darting out to the voices that were starting to get louder. “Is that a problem?”</p><p>“Oh no!” Bridgette’s pitch tweaked an octave higher than normal. “I’m just really glad you’re home <em>Court!” </em>Bridgette was practically shouting in the direction of the voices. Whatever Bridgette was trying to accomplish didn’t seem to work, because the voices came closer and Bridgette looked thoroughly panicked.  </p><p>“Hey Vsco girl, you got any food? I’m freaking starving – ” the drawling voice abruptly cut off. </p><p>Courtney froze and her previously slacked shoulders went stiff. She felt her heart plummet to the depths of her stomach. It was beating so hard she swore she could feel every cell of her being vibrate along with it. Hearing that voice… It was like being dragged up and down a flight of stairs while being doused with a bucket of ice water all at the same time. Flits of anxiety and panic danced in the churning turmoil of her stomach. After seven years of flagging every video YouTube would recommend of his band, after hastily clicking off every interview he would randomly appear on TV for, after only hearing his voice when her dreams –  nightmares? –  betrayed her at night… After seven years of laborious avoidance, this was <em>not </em>the way Courtney envisioned inevitably running into her ex-boyfriend again. </p><p>
  <em>Reason #28: He is literally everywhere. I really ought to get a restraining order. </em>
</p><p>“You didn’t tell me <em>she’d </em>be here,” the voice continued, his tone accusatory. At this, Courtney couldn’t help but whirl around in her seat to face him.</p><p>Duncan, standing in the doorway of her apartment. Duncan, scowling with his eyebrows furrowed, –  <em>plural?</em> <em>Where is his eyebrow piercing? </em>–  arms crossed in front of him. Duncan, shoulders broader and black shirt tight around his biceps, biceps that were absolutely bulging, biceps and forearms and neck lined with tattoos, with no mohawk and grown out black hair that she wanted to run her fingers through, and light stubble and chiseled jaw and <em>he looked so damn good, does he always look this good?!</em></p><p>Courtney wanted to internally combust. </p><p>“Excuse me neanderthal, but what right do you have, asserting yourself in my own home like this?” Courtney sneered instead. The words tumbled out without thinking. Her voice was deceptively solid, without a hint of falter. Bridgette let out a squawk.</p><p>“You!” Courtney whirled to face Bridgette. The glare on Courtney’s face was unforgiving. “Don’t you dare think you’re off the hook so easily either! Unless you want to wake up with a shaved head tomorrow, you’re going to explain exactly what <em>he’s </em>doing here!”  </p><p>Bridgette made a noise akin to a strangled fish. “Courtney, please, I – ” </p><p>“What’s up vlog! So today we have some awesome news  –  Oh fuck.” Geoff’s impeccable timing chose that very moment to bump into Duncan’s back. He looked to Courtney, then Duncan, then back to Courtney with wide eyes, hand still gripping his iPhone that he had been using to vlog with. “Uh…”</p><p>A heartbeat of dead silence passed. Then all at once:</p><p>“Courtney please don’t be mad– ”</p><p>“I swear to god Geoff if you did this on fucking purpose– ”</p><p>“Where’s my phone?! I need to call my attorney –”</p><p>“Everybody <em>stop!”</em> Bridgette had managed to climb atop of a chair and roared from above. The cacophony of voices ceased and two pairs of equally livid eyes, one pair filled with panic and trepidation, swung to her. “No one is getting evicted, Geoff did not do this on purpose, and Courtney <em>please</em> listen for just one second!”</p><p>“Who said anything about getting evicted?!” Geoff yelped. Bridgette looked pointedly at Courtney, who only stopped dialing her said attorney to look up with a deep scowl.</p><p>“You have exactly thirty seconds to explain why you thought it was a seemingly good idea to drag this <em>cretin</em> into my house.” Courtney barked, abruptly standing up to face Bridgette and Geoff. The chair from which she was sitting in tumbled down with a loud crash. She could hear her infamous sixteen year old self bleed into her voice. In any other scenario, she would have cringed, but her pride was far removed from the problem at hand. </p><p>Geoff took off his cowboy hat and raked a hand through his frazzled, blond hair. With a deep breath, he sidestepped around Duncan. “Okay dude, so this all began a couple months ago when I was struck with the dopest idea to interview Duncan’s band for clout nawmsayin? And then I thought, ‘yo, what better way to get clout than to throw a sick ass party?’ That’s why I asked you, Court, if we could use the apartment to turn up tonight, but then Bridge told me specifically not to tell you that Duncan would be here, especially since you’re at school all day then go straight to sleep anyway, so why bother telling you if it would just do more harm than good – ”</p><p><em>That was right</em>. Geoff <em>had </em>asked her to use the apartment tonight. In fact, he had asked so far in advance that she had forgotten all about it. That was already out of character enough of him to raise her suspicions, but on top of that, he had also made her promise to let them, “Party hard, no matter what you found out!” It was all so absurd that she had convinced herself that he had probably just finished filming his “Ganja with Geoff” series that was a huge hit with his subscribers, for whatever reason. </p><p>“Time’s up!” Courtney cut Geoff off. “I’ve heard enough. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go pack my belongings so I can sleep somewhere else tonight.”</p><p>“What? Where?” Geoff asked, befuddled. “It’s not like you have a boyfriend to go t– ”</p><p>“I’ll help you!” Bridgette jumped and not-so-subtly pinched Geoff’s arm. She followed Courtney out of the room as Geoff howled. His iPhone fell down to the kitchen floor with a loud clatter. </p><p>“<em>What the hell Bridgette?!</em>” Courtney hissed as soon as they were safely in her room. “I would have expected this from Geoff, but you too?!”</p><p>“Courtney, I’m so sorry!” Bridgette exclaimed. Her green eyes were wide and earnest. She was standing so close that Courtney could see little gold flecks in them. “I wanted to help Geoff with his channel growth but I know how you feel about Duncan, and I… I just didn’t know what the right thing to do was!” Bridgette pulled at her hair and slumped. “I know I should’ve just been honest about it, but I thought you would… Freak out.”</p><p>“I did <em>not</em> freak out! I am above that!” </p><p> Bridgette cast her a dubious look and held back a scoff. “Really?”</p><p>“Okay, well, of course I’m freaking out now!” Courtney yelled, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “How would <em>you</em> feel if you’ve been actively avoiding any sort of interaction with your ex-boyfriend for the past seven years and suddenly he just waltzes into your apartment because your own traitorous roommates invited him in?! Wouldn’t it just make sense to, gee, I don’t know, ask for consent by the other third of the party paying rent here?!” </p><p>“I know and I’m so sorry Courtney.” Bridgette pleaded. She grabbed Courtney’s hand to still her movements. “Let’s be adults about this. I know you have that list, but all I'm asking is for you to just allow him to be here for a couple hours! You don’t even need to say a single word to him! He isn’t staying over, he’s just making a video with Geoff and his band and coming to the party tonight.” </p><p>“Bridgette,” Courtney’s customer service voice was taking on a scary edge. Bridgette winced. “You understand how I feel about that absolute dickwad of an asshole that humiliated me on national television, right? How the hell on God’s green earth is that even fair?!” Courtney wanted to stomp her feet, roll around on the floor, and scream. Instead, she twisted herself out of Bridgette’s grasp and turned her back away.</p><p>“I’m not saying it’s fair, because by any means it isn’t.” Bridgette placed a placating hand on Courtney’s shoulder. “But did you know that the whole cheating thing still gets brought up in his interviews? Honestly Court, he’s paying the repercussions for it. ” </p><p>Courtney paused. She craned a neck to look back at Bridgette. “... It does?”</p><p>“Yup,” Bridgette’s lips popped to emphasize the ‘p’. “All the time. Especially whenever he’s seen with a new girl. I honestly believe that’s a big part of why he doesn’t date around anymore.” </p><p>Courtney felt a sliver of satisfaction pool in her stomach, but it was tinged with a small sense of guilt. She knew best what it was like running away from their shared past. The derisive looks she would get from her peers, the skepticism received from potential internships or job boards she interviewed with, even the hopeful ones she’d get from fans… They had all gathered their own assumptions of her and Duncan, even though she felt so far removed from the person she was on Total Drama. </p><p>Okay, maybe she still had some lingering… resentment from her sixteen/seventeen year old self, but when she was forced to watch those reels of herself in those stupid meetings with her publicist, for the most part it felt like she was watching a complete stranger. And isn’t that how it should be? God be damned if she had remained the same person she was from Total Drama! That show had put her under enormous amounts of inordinate stress, so it only made sense that the old Courtney that she was forced to rewatch would feel like a devolved version of herself. She thoroughly understood the frustration audience members had felt back then; especially considering the way her relationship unfolded and demised. Except the feeling was tenfold because it was literally herself making all of those decisions! But as removed as she felt… the memories were still so vivid. It still stung every time she had to replay Duncan’s teenage self fall in and eventually out of love with her. </p><p>
  <em>Reason #46: He always finds a way for me to sympathize with him. Ugh, and he calls me manipulative?</em>
</p><p>“Please don’t leave tonight Court,” Bridgette pleaded once more. She used the hand on Courtney’s shoulder to spin her around so that her front was facing Bridgette again. “I already know that you’re just going to go to your school library to pull an all-nighter. It isn’t healthy.”</p><p>Courtney cocked a hip and crossed her arms. “Yeah, and you suppose that I should just stick around and join your little party instead? No thanks. The fact that ogre is already in my breathing space is pushing it.” </p><p>“It won’t just be him that’ll be at the party!” Bridgette protested. “There’s going to be so many people, you probably won’t even run into him.” </p><p>“Even better,” Courtney groaned. “You know there’s nothing more I hate than people. You’re doing a fantastic job selling it to me, Bridge.” </p><p>“Come on!” Bridgette tugged Courtney’s shoulder back and forth. “Courtney, you know you’re one of my best friends, right?” Courtney’s eyes widened, taken aback. “So listen to me when I say that you are in serious need of a break! I haven’t seen you take a day off in months. Don’t you miss hanging out with me? I know I miss you. Besides,” Bridgette's face broke into an all-knowing smirk. “Lit Courtney is the best Courtney.”</p><p>Courtney rolled her eyes and tried to push Bridgette back to arms length. “Sorry to break it to you, but ‘lit Courtney’ doesn’t plan on making an appearance until after I graduate law school at the very earliest. I’m way too busy with work to be engaging myself in such lowbrow activities.”</p><p>“Lowbrow huh?” Bridgette tapped a finger from her free hand to her chin. “I guess that’s one way to describe lit Courtney, but I would say wild is much more fitting.” </p><p>“I am not wild!” Courtney gasped in horror.</p><p>Bridgette giggled. “Sure, if you don’t count the time you fell off and broke a table because you were dancing on top of it with Leshawna. Or that other time you were literally driven home from the club in a firetruck. I still can’t believe you didn’t get that firefighter’s number, by the way. He was so hot!” </p><p>“Bridge – that was – I –” Courtney sputtered. She felt the strong urge to cover her face with her hands. “Whose brilliant idea was it to have a tequila only night anyway?! They should know that that’s the devil’s juice!”</p><p>“You shouldn’t be embarrassed! It’s awesome! You almost never loosen up naturally, and one of us here needs to be getting new dick –  not that I’m not happy with Geoff’s, of course, but you know what I mean, our sex life isn’t nearly as crazy as it used to be but it’s still bomb – ” </p><p>“Oh my god Bridgette, please stop talking.” Courtney submitted to the urge and covered her face with both hands. They were burning to the touch. “This is all the more reason for me to <em>not</em> drink tonight!”</p><p>“How about this,” Bridgette’s face lit up. “I’ll stay by your side the entire time. We’ll make it like a girls night out type of thing! Except within our own apartment. Trust me, by the time Geoff is done setting it up, the apartment will be unrecognizable! I won’t hang out with Geoff at all and I’ll even make him distract Duncan. He needs to stay with him anyway if he wants to make his vlog a good one. We’ll even get ready together and pregame like we’re actually going out!”</p><p>Courtney opened her mouth to object, but another look at Bridgette’s overly excited face stopped her short. She tried to recall the last time she had gone out. Hell, she couldn’t even remember the last time she hung out with Bridgette one-on-one. Their development as friends was still somewhat foreign to Courtney. Living with her had surely started out as an arrangement of convenience, but Courtney found herself genuinely liking the said blonde. She was kind, thoughtful, and (excluding today) considerate. Plus, she was the only one of the three that was brave enough to capture every spider and insect that occasionally plagued their apartment. </p><p>“Courtney?” Bridgette said softly. Courtney looked up to see Bridgette’s concerned gaze directed at her. “... I’m sorry. I’m being selfish. If you really don’t want to party tonight, you don’t have to. I know I’m asking a lot of you to be around… him.” </p><p><em>Can you really handle being in the same vicinity as Duncan?</em> The angel version of Courtney whispered on her shoulder. </p><p><em>Who cares about that idiot! </em>The devil scoffed.<em> Don’t make this about him! Show him what you’re all about instead! </em></p><p>“But you know…” Bridgette interrupted the imagined discourse softly. “I want you to live your best life. You don’t need to self-sabotage yourself with that list all the time.” </p><p>Courtney’s eyebrows furrowed. “Self-sabotage?” </p><p>Bridgette shook her head. “Forget I said that. I just want to see you happy, that’s all. Forget lit Courtney – she doesn’t even hold a candle to happy Courtney!” </p><p>Courtney shook her head. “It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with you. I just…” She bit her lip. “If I run into him, I want to be able to talk to him on my terms. And,” A determined glare settled upon her features. “I want to look fucking good while doing it.” </p><p>“YES!” Bridgette cheered as she jumped up and away from Courtney excitedly. “That’s my girl! You’re gonna kick some Duncan ass tonight!” Bridgette suddenly stopped, stricken. “Um… Hopefully not literally. Because we all know you’re more than capable of doing that.”  </p><p>
  <em>Reason #97: Duncan? Backing down from a challenge? Never. But lucky for him, neither do I. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning: mentions of sexual harassment/assault</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“All done!” Bridgette triumphantly took a step away from Courtney, curling iron in hand. She gave an appreciative whistle. “Damn Court, you look freakin’ hot!”</p>
<p>Courtney rolled her eyes and turned to look at herself in Bridgette’s vanity mirror. While her chosen attire was much less modest than usual (Bridgette’s doing, not her), she supposed it could be worse. She had wisely learned long ago that there was no resisting the hands of Bridgette when she wanted to use Courtney to play dress-up. Underneath her black, mesh long sleeve bodysuit was a lacy, black bralette. A tight, white skirt hugged her legs and she watched as Bridgette fussed with the last bit of Courtney’s loose curls. She kept her makeup more minimal, only really bothering to put on the basics, but she looked and felt good. Better than she had in months, actually.  </p>
<p>A pair of teal eyes flashed in her memory and Courtney gritted her teeth. </p>
<p>
  <em>Reason #71: He never even noticed when I would dress up! </em>
</p>
<p>“Do you want me to do your hair too, Bridge?” Courtney asked as she slid off of Bridgette’s vanity chair. </p>
<p>Courtney knew her friend was naturally pretty, but tonight Bridgette looked killer. Her eyes followed Bridgette as the said girl shook her head in response. Bridgette’s wrap around crop top managed to bring out her green eyes perfectly and her low-cut jeans hung devastatingly at the hips. It was a far cry from her usual Birkenstocks and puka shells. There was something else about Bridgette that made her glow with a subtle magnetism.</p>
<p>Her friend looked genuinely <em>happy.</em> The realization was enough to knock the wind out of Courtney. It was a peace unknown to her and for a fleeting second, she felt a pang of jealousy. </p>
<p>Sure, Courtney was successful for a young twenty-something year old. She had been chasing success for so long that it was like second nature. But was she truly happy? Happy enough that it made her glow like Bridgette did? Courtney’s eyes drifted to her own reflection. She supposed she was happy enough with what she saw reflected back. Courtney had always been fairly confident in her looks, but they certainly weren’t everything. She tried to think of the last time she had been happy because of something unrelated to work or school and found herself drawing a startling blank. She had always assumed that being successful meant she achieved ultimate happiness. </p>
<p>So why wasn’t that true?</p>
<p>She met Bridgette’s gaze in the mirror and gave a small smile. Bridgette’s eyes softened and returned it with a grin. </p>
<p>“Bridgette, what do you imagine your ideal future to be?” Courtney suddenly blurted. Bridgette’s green eyes widened a fraction, slightly startled. </p>
<p>“I’m not sure,” Bridgette replied with a surprised giggle. “Why?” </p>
<p>“Just try and picture it.” Courtney pressed. “What’s your dream job?”</p>
<p>Bridgette quirked an eyebrow. “To run my own surf shop. But you know that.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, but is there anything else you want? If money wasn’t an option and you could do anything, what would your ideal life be like?” </p>
<p>Bridgette’s eyes glazed over in contemplation. She corked a wand of mascara back into its tube and set it on the vanity. </p>
<p>“I guess the same thing – to open up my own surf shop. I would love to move to Malibu eventually and run the best surf shop in the city. I’d provide surfing and boogie boarding lessons for kids, adults, whoever.” Bridgette’s tone turned pensive. “If we’re dreaming real big, I’d love to own a beach house with Geoff and our future kids. Hopefully at that point Geoff’s taken off with YouTube or hosting. It’s his dream to be the next Ryan Seacrest. Maybe it’d turn into a family channel.” </p>
<p>“Kids?” Courtney tried not to let the horror bleed into her voice. “Have you and Geoff talked about that already?” </p>
<p>“Oh yeah.” Bridgette said confidently. “We want three. I’m definitely enrolling them for surfing lessons if I don’t teach them myself. Start ‘em young, you know?” </p>
<p>Courtney’s eyes were like fried eggs. “I… Can’t even begin to imagine what Geoff would be like as a dad. No offense.” </p>
<p>Bridgette laughed. She turned her head over her shoulder so Courtney could see the amused grin on her face. “Yeah well, I guess it’s too early to tell. He actually takes great care of me though. Just this morning, he left me a poem on his side of the bed because he had to pick up Duncan’s band from the airport. Do you wanna see?” Without waiting for Courtney’s response, she jumped over to their queen size bed to pluck the rumpled note from a pillow. </p>
<p>In crude handwriting, it read:</p>
<p>
  <em>Roses are red</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Violets are blue</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You’re body is bangin’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And so are you!</em>
</p>
<p>Courtney wrinkled her nose and tried not to comment on the incorrect use of ‘your’. Then again, she had once been gifted a skull carved out of wood so maybe she shouldn’t be one to judge people’s love languages. “How… Sweet?” </p>
<p>“I know right!” Bridgette beamed as she took back the note. “I know most girls would find this objectifying, but I know Geoff. If he had just wanted me for the sex, he would’ve left a long time ago. Plus, it’s a nice reminder that he still wants me like that even after all these years. I know a lot of couples struggle with spicing up their bedroom life but I’m lucky that Geoff and I have never had that problem.” </p>
<p>“Trust me, I am more than aware of that.” Courtney smirked. Bridgette at least had the decency to blush. “I’ve learned the true investment of quality earplugs because of you two.” </p>
<p>“Oh, come on! We aren’t that bad!” Bridgette laughed. “... Are we?” </p>
<p>Courtney shot her a dubious look. “That’s a rhetorical question, right?” </p>
<p>Bridgette snorted. “Fine. I am genuinely sorry. I make no promises for the future though. What brought this on?”</p>
<p>Courtney hesitated. She wasn’t even entirely sure herself. </p>
<p>Courtney’s entire life revolved around wanting to become a lawyer. Before, it had only been a matter of time until she decided what her focus was. The world and its rules were black and white – the good always won and evil suffered. It wasn’t until Total Drama and its blatant corruption that she was introduced to the dusty, clouded gray areas of life. When she fell in love with a boy with a head full of reasons why he was bad for her and still chose him anyway.</p>
<p>And that was the last time she would make that mistake. She learned her lessons from straying too far from the white lines of good. <em>This is what happens when you don’t control your outcome, Courtney, </em>she used to reprimand herself. It was also only then that she knew she wanted to go into corporate law. To prevent corporations like Total Drama from clearly bypassing liability checks and its pathetic excuse of haphazard management – aka Christopher McLean – from ever happening again. Because seriously, alligators and sharks in Muskoka?! </p>
<p><em>But all for what? </em>Courtney wondered. Sometimes she couldn’t see just how exactly she was benefitting the world with corporate law. Like she said, she loved law school. But something about corporate law no longer thrilled her the way it used to. Was it the over exposure to corruption? The tireless fight against seemingly omnipotent corporation chains? Maybe she was just getting cold feet. The stirring in her gut was becoming more and more impossible to ignore though, and she could feel herself on the cusp of change. </p>
<p>Her goals always relied on whoever had the most power. Her plan to go into politics was still very much intact, but she knew if anyone was going to take her seriously, there was no better way than a fat “Esq.” following her name. And besides, who had more power than corrupt business owners? She used to be positively flushed with determination, eager to take each crooked corporation down after the next. </p>
<p>Maybe her line of thinking was too small. Should she be envisioning a life of kids and a husband like Bridgette? She hadn’t taken a single sip of alcohol and yet her head was spinning. </p>
<p>“Just curious.” Courtney finally managed to say, lamely. The look Bridgette gave her showed she didn’t believe her for a second but changed the subject anyway. </p>
<p>“Well, speaking of hooking up then…” Bridgette’s face gleamed. Courtney could see her devil horns emerging beneath the cover of blonde hair. </p>
<p>It was enough for Courtney to back away. “Oh no. No, no, no, we are absolutely not doing this.” </p>
<p>“Oh, hell yes we are!” Bridgette squealed as she jumped into Courtney’s personal space. “We are going to get you some dick tonight and that is final. You’re gonna thank me later – trust me.” </p>
<p>“Bridgette,” Courtney groaned. “I really have neither the time nor the mental capacity to babysit some twenty-something man child that can’t tell the difference between a cervix and clitoris.” The thought of it made Courtney cringe. </p>
<p>“Hey girl, I hear ya. What if I promise you no man-children?” Bridgette’s eyes were shining with excitement. “I know this guy…”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to hear it!” Courtney interrupted. “This is a girl’s night, remember? As in no idiots allowed.” </p>
<p>“Fine, fine.” Bridgette held her hands up in surrender. “Drunk Bridgette might have other ideas though.” </p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Bottle service!” Geoff whooped as he strolled into his shared bedroom with Bridgette. Loud, pulsing music trailed in from behind him as he shut the door. Geoff’s normally pale face was already showing the beginning signs of an alcoholic flush. Courtney didn’t know what to make of his timing yet again. “One bottle of te-kill-me as promised! And it’s ice cold!”</p>
<p>“Did you bring the salt and limes?” Bridgette flounced over as Geoff produced the bottle of tequila with a flourish. </p>
<p>“The party king never shows up unprepared!” Geoff declared as he proceeded to set down a plate of cut up limes and salt in front of them. Bridgette giggled and turned to whisper flirtatiously into his ear.</p>
<p>“Sure, until it’s time to pay rent.” Courtney muttered under her breath. </p>
<p>“Dude, Courtney, you look freakin’ smokin!” Geoff held out a fist. Courtney couldn’t hold back a smirk and lightly bumped her fist against his. “But not as much as my shnookums here.” </p>
<p>“Thanks, <em>dude</em>.” Courtney echoed. Bridgette laughed. “And thanks for getting us the alcohol.” </p>
<p>“Only the best for my baby girl!” Geoff wrapped an arm around Bridgette’s shoulders and planted a kiss on her temple. “Besides, what kind of host would I be without putting the needs of my guests first?”</p>
<p>“We live here too Geoff.” Courtney was quick to point out. </p>
<p>“Well tonight you are guests!” Geoff raised a shot glass brimming with tequila to toast. “Cheers, roomies!”</p>
<p>Courtney grimaced as she followed suit and clinked her shot glass against Bridgette’s and Geoff’s. In quick succession, she licked the salt off her hand, tossed her head back to swig the shot, and chased it with the sour lime. She puckered her face as she sucked on her lime, in contrast to Geoff’s eager expression and Bridgette’s amused one. Courtney could feel the alcohol burn down her chest and began to feel her body heat in response.</p>
<p>“Okay, out now!” Bridgette pushed her boyfriend towards the door. “It’s a girls only zone from here!”</p>
<p>“She’s all yours,” Geoff winked at Courtney as he started to head out towards the party. “Don’t do anything I’d do with her, Court!” With that, he disappeared into the throbbing crowd once more.</p>
<p>“Now,” Bridgette grinned deviously as she held up her empty shot glass. “Where were we?”</p>
<hr/>
<p>If Courtney was sure of anything in this world, it was that 1. She loved to win and 2. She absolutely hated losing. So when Bridgette challenged Courtney to match her shot for shot that night, Courtney knew it wasn’t in her moral compass to back down.</p>
<p>Although she wasn’t sure if there was any “winning” in drinking. </p>
<p>“Boo-yah! In your face, suckers!” Courtney leered as her ping pong ball landed squarely into the red solo cup across the table. Bridgette gave her a high-five as Noah and Owen groaned on the opposite end.</p>
<p>“How is this an even game at all?” Noah remarked bitterly as he pushed aside the offended cup. Its contents sloshed joyously to the pounding music. “Courtney’s competitiveness has the vigor of ten people when she’s drunk. It doesn’t make sense.”</p>
<p>Beside him, Owen belched and nodded in agreement. “Yeah! If she keeps this up, I’m going to have to drink enough beer for the both of us again!”</p>
<p>“Somehow I have a hard time believing you’d be against that.” Noah commented dryly. </p>
<p>“If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen!” Courtney taunted and stuck a tongue out. Bridgette laughed good naturedly.  </p>
<p>“Kitchen?! Where?! Ooh, do you think there’ll be snacks?!” Owen licked his lips.</p>
<p>Noah sighed. “Owen, we <em>are</em> in the kitchen. The refrigerator is literally right there, you lunchbox for brains.” </p>
<p>Courtney didn’t know how she wound up playing beer pong against Noah and Owen, but she wasn’t complaining. She didn’t even know how or why they were here. Not that she really cared. </p>
<p>Her ex-boyfriend and ex co-stars all under one roof. <em>Her </em>roof. Drunk. </p>
<p>It truly doesn’t get more L.A. than this.  </p>
<p>So far, the night was proceeding without a single hitch. It was going so smoothly that if Courtney hadn’t been as inebriated as she was, she’d be a hell of a lot more suspicious. </p>
<p>“Courtney!” Trent stumbled right into her. His hair was grown out and he had a full-blown goatee now. Leave it to Geoff to host a mini Total Drama reunion. Trent was the one person that Courtney actually expected to move to L.A. – it just made sense. “Whoa! How are you? It’s been a couple years. Have you dropped the ‘I.T.’ from C.I.T. yet?”</p>
<p>“You’re a couple years behind Trent,” Courtney giggled. Wow, she was really drunk. “I became a full-fledged counselor after I finally had a free summer to myself without having to be a Chris Mcpain slave.” </p>
<p>“Ah yes,” Trent nodded, eyes too wide in faux earnestness. He swung a free arm around her shoulder and raised a red solo cup to the ceiling. “Cheers to the freedom of tyranny! Although,” Trent’s eyes suddenly narrowed with absurd clarity. “The United States will never truly be freed from the capitalist wheel that is spun by the elite one percent.” </p>
<p>“Excuse me, but we were in the middle of a game here.” Noah interrupted their sloppy entanglement of limbs with a scowl. “If you’re going to be preaching about Jeff Bezos, at least share the wealth. You can start by forking over that handle of Jameson.” </p>
<p>“What are you all even doing here?” Courtney whined. “Bridgette, help!”</p>
<p>“Jeez Courtney, for all of your self-proclaimed propriety, you sure are shit at hosting.” Noah said dryly. </p>
<p>“You’re not the only Total Drama alumni to room together.” Trent grinned down at her. “I’m down here pursuing music, but Noah and Owen decided to move here because Owen’s food blog has really taken off!”</p>
<p>“But… Then what’s Noah doing here?” Courtney asked. <em>Nowen confirmed?! I knew it! Damn, I guess Sierra’s blog wasn’t too far off after all then. </em>Courtney giggled drunkenly at the thought. <em>… Not that I read it.</em></p>
<p>Noah rolled his eyes. “Please, as if this brickhouse can formulate coherent sentences. Who do you think actually gets the content out?” </p>
<p>“Hey!” Courtney looked up to see Bridgette pouting in front of her. “Court-neeyyy, you promised no boys tonight!”</p>
<p>“No boys?” Trent asked. “Why not?”</p>
<p>Bridgette tugged Courtney away, effectively disentangling her from Trent. Courtney stumbled, falling into Bridgette’s arms. “Because boys are stupid!”</p>
<p>“Yeah!” Courtney cried. “Fuck boys! Especially fuckboys! They’re stupid!”</p>
<p>“Oh I see,” Noah remarked. “Does this have anything to do with a certain teal-eyed desperado, one you share a certain anamnesis with? I think I saw him just a minute ago – ”</p>
<p>“Oh! You’re talking about Duncan, right? Man, I missed that guy! He looks really good now!” Owen chimed unhelpfully. </p>
<p>“Stop. Talking.” Courtney growled. “Both of you.” Noah held up his hands in surrender. Bridgette placed a sympathetic palm on Courtney’s arm.</p>
<p>“Hey man, I get it. I’ve also been dealt a bad hand at this love stuff. I’m just trying to focus on my craft nowadays.” Trent said. “So why are you two living in L.A. now?” </p>
<p>Courtney smirked. Even while drunk, she recognized that reunions were just ill-disguised pissing contests. “Well if you must know,” Courtney drawled. “I’m going to USC for law school. Bridgette and I are roommates.”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t surprise me,” Trent replied. He strummed an invisible guitar along to the upbeat music. “I’m glad to hear that you still went after your dream after all these years. How about you Bridge?”</p>
<p>As Bridgette turned to reply, Courtney’s eyes wandered. The dimmed apartment hosted a lot of people she didn’t know, all of them dancing, drinking, or some sort of variation of the two. From her spot in the kitchen she could vaguely make out people smoking on the balcony. The smell of weed, alcohol, and sweat permeated the room but for once Courtney didn’t care. All she felt was a blurry, drunken euphoria. </p>
<p>“I want to dance!” Courtney suddenly demanded and tugged Bridgette along with her. Bridgette merely shrugged and shot the peace sign up to the three boys, allowing herself to be dragged away. </p>
<p>In the designated dance space, which was really the cleared out living room, Courtney led the two to an empty spot. Courtney had to begrudgingly hand it to Geoff, for the apartment was indeed unrecognizable. He really made it feel like she was at a real club instead of a dingy apartment in Westwood, Los Angeles. Indoor party lights whirled and shone on Bridgette as she pressed her body against Courtney’s. </p>
<p>Hours passed. Or maybe it was only mere minutes? All Courtney could feel was a drunken fog. It was like being encased in an everlasting pocket where time stood still. Bridgette’s smile made Courtney happy. The beat of the music pulsed through her and for this fleeting moment of time, Courtney forgot about everything. Bridgette’s hips rolled against hers and she giggled at the intimacy.  </p>
<p><em>Dancing is fun. Why don’t I do this more often? </em>Courtney struggled to remember.  </p>
<p>“Hey Courtney,” Bridgette leaned back into her. She subtly pointed to her left. Courtney looked over to where Bridgette was gesturing. “I dare you to try and get that guy’s number.” </p>
<p>Courtney squinted at the man in question. He wasn’t bad looking, she supposed. He looked like any guy that was in a frat at USC – white, fit, tall. He was as exciting as wonder bread. He was no peanut butter and jelly, but she shrugged and grinned anyway. “Only if you take another shot with me.”</p>
<p>“Say less!” Bridgette grabbed Courtney’s hand to lead her back to the kitchen. </p>
<p>“20! 21! 22!” A huge crowd was gathered and counting down as Owen was upside down, attempting to kegstand. Behind him, Geoff was struggling to support Owen’s legs.</p>
<p>“Uh dudes, a little help here?” Geoff pleaded, trembling against Owen. Meanwhile, Owen was slurping faster than the crowd could keep up with, positively rejoicing at all the free beer he was ingesting. </p>
<p>“Baby!” Bridgette rushed over to help Geoff. Her widened stance alone made it seem like she was pushing an entire refrigerator instead of a tubby vacuum for a mouth. </p>
<p>Courtney shrugged as she somehow managed to find her footing and two shot cups. Her hand wobbled as she attempted to pour the liquor. <em>Whose handle is this? Oh well, my house, my bottle! </em></p>
<p>“Need some help there?” A voice sidled up to her. Her eyes slid to the aforementioned wonder bread boy that had appeared next to her. <em>Huh. Well that was convenient. </em>Courtney shrugged. </p>
<p>“I wouldn’t mind a helping hand or two.” Courtney used her best “helpless” look, one with widened eyes and a jut in the lip that she knew boys tended to like. </p>
<p>“Lucky me. I happen to have a pair right here. The name’s Dylan.” Wonder boy reached for the bottle so he could press up against her. Now that she could see him up close, he was shorter than the boys she usually went for. His cologne was stronger than she preferred too, but her beer goggles waved the excuses off.</p>
<p>“Courtney.” She purred. Dylan flashed a candy cane toothed smile. He had dimples - that was kind of cute. She couldn’t remember if she was into that or not. </p>
<p>“You’re looking a little lonely there, Courtney. I think you were hoping I would come over here.”</p>
<p>“How presumptuous of you.” Were those red flags she could sense? She chose to ignore them. </p>
<p>“Seems like you don’t know what you want but that’s okay. I can show you. Let’s dance. After taking these two shots, of course.” He winked. </p>
<p>Something about this felt wrong. Wasn’t she pouring that for someone else? With a small frown she glanced at the two shot cups. They were brimming with tequila and multiplying into swimming groups of four in her dizzying vision. </p>
<p>“Sure,” She heard a voice that sounded like herself say. “Lead the way.” </p>
<p>A burning shot and cringe later, her hand was in Dylan’s as he navigated through the crowded house. Courtney followed dutifully behind him, wondering how she was even putting one foot after the other. The DJ was blasting some incoherent rap song that Courtney vaguely recognized. Her face and entire body felt warm from the alcohol and body heat. </p>
<p>“Oh, excuse me,” Courtney felt her body bump into something warm and solid. Someone way taller than the boy she was currently locked hands with. A pair of scowling teal eyes shocked her. Her face mirrored his sulk when she saw just who exactly she bumped into. </p>
<p>“Never mind.” Her nose wrinkled. “I’m not sorry.” </p>
<p>Duncan scoffed. “Still as bratty as ever. Is this how you treat all your guests?”</p>
<p>
  <em>Reason #????: Fuck Duncan!</em>
</p>
<p>Courtney could feel Dylan quite literally slipping from her grasp, but she didn’t care. This was a showdown that was seven years in the making. She cocked a hip. “May I remind you that I reserve the right to eject any alleged guests from said house? After all, you should know the laws better than I do at this point Duncan.” </p>
<p>“Gotta know ‘em to break ‘em, Princess.” The long untouched pet name sent shudders – shivers? –  down her spine. “You’re only a third shareholder here. It takes a unanimous vote.” </p>
<p>“Courtney?” Dylan came retreating back. “There you are! I thought I lost you.” </p>
<p>The sight of Dylan triggered a sneer on Duncan’s face. “Seriously Courtney? Him?” </p>
<p>“Shut up Duncan.” Courtney snapped. She felt embarrassed for some reason. Maybe that was why she allowed herself to get tugged away by Dylan. </p>
<p>“Who was that?” Dylan asked as they finally stepped onto the dance floor. </p>
<p>“No idea. Now shut up and dance with me.” Courtney took a breath and attempted to sweeten her tone. “Please?” </p>
<p>It was enough for Dylan’s face to light up like a birthday candle. He wasted no time in grabbing Courtney’s hips and twirling her around so her back was against his front. She reached up and curled a hand around the nape of his neck. Dylan was just an okay dancer, so she took the lead, rolling her hips against him to the beat. </p>
<p>It didn’t take long for Dylan to get excited in more ways than one. He made his “excitement” apparent by pressing it into Courtney. </p>
<p>“We should get out of here.” Dylan said into the shell of her ear. She inwardly cringed. She was extremely particular about people kissing her ears. </p>
<p>“Why?” Courtney turned around so she could face him.</p>
<p>Dylan immediately reclaimed her hips with his hands. “I think you know why. My car is parked out front if you want to go for a ride.” He winked at the innuendo and tried to pull her in for a kiss.</p>
<p><em>Ew. </em>How gross. Courtney sidestepped out of his reach. “No thanks! I’m good. Please see to yourself that you find another willing participant. Or don’t, I don’t care.” </p>
<p>“Aw, c’mon babe don’t be like that.” Dylan cooed. He tugged her arm forcefully and grabbed her butt through her skirt. “We were having such a good time.” </p>
<p><em>Oh fuck no. </em>Courtney twisted his arm until he howled. “Touch me one more time and I will personally see through that you don’t make it to the light of tomorrow.” She growled. </p>
<p>“Feisty, aren’t you?” Dylan only smirked and shook his arm out. “I like my girls a little wild.” A predatory smile that made Courtney’s skin crawl stretched on his face. Dylan grabbed both of Courtney’s wrists and forced them behind her back. “Let’s loosen you up with a little TLC.” </p>
<p>Courtney wanted to knee him in between his legs but couldn’t manage to find her balance. The room was a swirling prism of colors. <em>Damn these heels. What the fuck is happening?</em> Dylan began to lean in and Courtney turned her face away. </p>
<p>“Hey asswipe, she said to leave her alone.” A new voice cut in. Dylan was suddenly shoved away from Courtney with a third body that had wedged between them. “Now I suggest you get the hell out of here before I kick the living shit out of you.” </p>
<p>She could recognize the body outline in front of her anywhere. She pushed the hulking presence aside and turned to glare. “Excuse me! This is between me and him. I have this under control, <em>Duncan</em>.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, because clearly everything is just peachy.” Duncan said sarcastically. “And the unsolicited ass grab was also under your control, right?”</p>
<p>“Who the fuck are you?” Dylan spat. “Her boyfriend?”</p>
<p>“Ex-boyfriend.” Duncan and Courtney growled unanimously. They turned and glared at one another. </p>
<p>“Whatever man.” Dylan huffed. “I’m out. No pussy is worth this bullshit.” </p>
<p>Duncan grabbed Dylan by the front of his shirt. A crowd was beginning to gather around them. “Not so fast, motherfucker. I’m not letting you go until you apologize for manhandling little Miss C.I.T. Princess over here. I don’t tolerate that kind of bullshit.” Duncan leered while holding Dylan up high. “So why don’t you be a good boy and use your big words to say sorry?” </p>
<p><em>… Okay seriously, what the fuck is happening? </em>Courtney was almost too baffled to be properly angry. Little Miss C.I.T. Princess? Was she sixteen again? Courtney looked down at her outfit as if to reaffirm reality. Yup, still just as twenty-four as ever. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry okay?! Shit.” Dylan’s face was completely red and his legs kicked the air. Duncan dropped him with a plop. He then turned to the crowd that had formulated a circle around them.</p>
<p>“Fuck off!” He barked. They dispersed instantly. </p>
<p>Duncan stalked over to Courtney. There was a murderous glare in his eyes, anger ebbing off of him in waves. Without a word, he hoisted Courtney over his shoulders. </p>
<p>“DUNCAN!” Courtney shrieked angrily. “Put - me - down!” Each word was enunciated with a fist to his back. </p>
<p>“Bye-bye Courtney!” Owen, Noah, and Trent magically appeared and waved to her retreating form. Courtney flipped them off. </p>
<p>“You’ve had way too much to drink.” Duncan said gruffly as they approached her door. “Do you have your key?” </p>
<p>“How do you know it’s locked, stalker?” </p>
<p>Duncan rolled his eyes. “You caught me Princess. I peep into your window every night like I don’t have better things to do than to spy on my ex-girlfriend, who has moved to an entirely different country. Where’s the damn key?” </p>
<p>“In my bra, smartass. Hold on.” She reached a hand into her bralette and dug it out.</p>
<p>“Finally.” Duncan dumped Courtney unceremoniously onto her bed. She went face first into her silk sheets. No sooner had he crossed the threshold he turned to make his leave.</p>
<p>“Wait!” Courtney scrambled up to follow him to the door. “What right do you have manhandling me like that?” She instinctively grabbed his wrist. “And what – what the hell was that?! You can’t just cause a scene like that and – hey stop! We need to talk about this!”</p>
<p>“We don’t need to talk about shit.” Duncan turned to pry her hand off his wrist. </p>
<p>Brown met blue. Courtney involuntarily sucked in a sharp gasp of air. Those electric blues were as shocking as ever. She had unknowingly been chasing a teal blue high for the past seven years and nothing still compared. She dropped her hand like she had been burned. “<em>Yes</em>, we do!” </p>
<p>Duncan crossed his arms. Courtney tried not to take note of how his inked forearms rippled. “If you don’t remember, I’m here for one reason only, and it’s to record a dumbass vlog for Geoff. I don’t see you writing a check for my time here.” </p>
<p>“Forgive me for not groveling at your feet for the stunt you just pulled,” Courtney spat. “But now I look like some sort of weak damsel in distress in front of everybody. Which I’m <em>not.</em>”</p>
<p>Duncan’s eyes flared. “<em>That’s </em>what you’re concerned about?! Not the fact that you got <em>sexually harassed</em>?! Un-fucking-believable Courtney, you’re seriously messed up.” </p>
<p>Courtney rolled her eyes. “Please. I don’t know what kind of toxic-masculinity ideals you have going on up in that pee-wee brain of yours, but I didn’t need any “saving”. Never have, and never will.”</p>
<p>Duncan looked furious. “You know what?! Fuck this and fuck you. Have a nice life, Courtney.” He yanked the door handle to fling it open. </p>
<p>“Wait.” Courtney grabbed his wrist again. She jerked him back and he stumbled, his hold on the doorknob falling loose. She pinched her nose with her free hand. “Okay, let me put it this way. What if someone called the cops Duncan? Even if we did explain the situation to them, law enforcement isn’t exactly… fond of you, to say the least. Who would the news outlets defame? Your records would have discredited <em>you.</em> Not Dylan. You’re not exactly an obscure figure nowadays. And then what would have happened to you, huh?” </p>
<p>Duncan sneered. “Spare me the lecture. I didn’t know you were so concerned for me, Princess.” His tone was heavy with sarcasm. “Even after getting fucking <em>assaulted</em>, what you’re worried most about is still getting in trouble.” </p>
<p>“Would it kill you to just admit that I’m right for once?!” Courtney nearly screamed. “Look, I’m not saying I’m not pissed about what Dylan did because believe me, <em>I am.</em> I will definitely be pressing charges later. But as a future lawyer, I need to take into account what the best possible outcome is at the present moment. And I wasn’t just thinking about myself, I was thinking about <em>you</em> too<em>.</em>”</p>
<p>There was a long silence. </p>
<p><em>What am I doing? </em>Courtney asked herself. She examined Duncan. He still wasn’t meeting her eyes but he looked less tense now, the frown in his face less stony and biting. He looked more uncomfortable than anything. Courtney briefly wondered if she should also be demonstrating more restraint, but the alcohol had long removed any filter of such sort. Besides, her yelling at Duncan wasn’t anything new, years spent apart or not. She observed his sharp jawline, tracing up to his nose piercing, and finally to the narrowed pupils of his eyes. The more she looked at him, the less drunk he appeared to be. In fact, he seemed… sober? </p>
<p>“Are you drunk?” Courtney blurted. </p>
<p>At that, Duncan’s gaze <em>finally</em> met hers. An annoyed look crossed his face. </p>
<p>“Do I <em>look </em>drunk? I need to drive home tonight.” </p>
<p>“Oh.” </p>
<p>Another silence. Now they were playing the staring game. He really had matured over the years. Dark circles hugged his eyes and he looked older, hardened by years of fame and incarceration, she presumed. She used to know the boy beneath that exterior and wondered how much he had changed. Maybe it was the alcohol, but a sudden surge of determination flooded through her. </p>
<p>
  <em>Well, only one way to find out. I did want to talk to him on my terms, didn’t I?</em>
</p>
<p>Courtney finally looked away with a sigh. </p>
<p>“Don’t just stand there, sit down.” She forced out. She took off her heels and slid back into the silk sheets of her bed. She almost moaned at the contact but stopped herself short. </p>
<p>“Why would I want to do that?” Duncan scowled. </p>
<p>Courtney scoffed. “Please. You are free to go back to that barbarism if you wish. I’m not stopping you from being paraded around as one of Geoff’s little monkeys.” </p>
<p>Duncan leaned against the wall facing Courtney. She reluctantly sat up. Duncan eyes scanned her room with a once-over. It was extremely minimalistic, almost purely functional in its decor. The most indulgent thing was her white silk sheets. White curtains, white lace rug on the hardwood floor, and a white desk in the corner of the room adorned the space. The only pop of color was the array of succulents on the windowsill. She had basically taken her bedroom from home and copy pasted it here. Courtney wondered what he thought and tried to recall what his bedroom looked like. She shook her head, quickly shaking off the assault of memories that bubbled to the surface. </p>
<p>“Are those the types of guys you’re dating nowadays?” Duncan suddenly broke the terse silence. His handsome face was drawn into a dark frown. “You have shit taste.” </p>
<p>“Do I even dare point out the irony of that statement?” Courtney said wryly. She ran a hand through her hair, no doubt an uncharacteristic mess now. “His name is Dylan. He’s probably in Pi Kappa Phi and majoring in Kinesiology. They always drop when it gets too hard and become Business majors. What’s it to you? It’s not like you actually care.”</p>
<p>“Those guys are fuckin’ pathetic Courtney. Their brains are as small as their dicks. You shouldn’t be wasting your time on them.”</p>
<p>“Again, not that it matters, but we aren’t dating. I had only met him tonight.” Courtney was still very drunk. Now that the seriousness of the situation was finally starting to abate, it was beginning to ebb way for delirium. She was surprised she wasn’t slurring at this point. Or maybe she was. She was too drunk to notice. “You need to take a chill pill. I still don’t understand why you care.”</p>
<p>Duncan’s eyebrows flew to his hairline. Oh yeah, there were two of them now. Courtney wondered the story behind that and started to giggle. “Yeah, you’ve definitely had way too much to drink tonight. I should go.” He started towards the door. </p>
<p>“Since when were you such a killjoy?” Courtney pushed herself up on all fours. Duncan glanced back at her and froze. A quick peek down at herself and she understood why. Her cleavage was practically spilling out of her bra. She smirked but moved to sit up back on her heels. </p>
<p>Duncan knocked his head back to gaze up at the ceiling in clear restraint. “You know I can’t stay, Princess. As much as I’m all for breaking the rules, I do value my <em>cojones</em> even more. They won’t live to withstand one of your infamous freak-outs come morning when you decide to regret everything.”</p>
<p>“Ewwww,” Courtney’s face scrunched. “Why is it always about sex with you?”</p>
<p>“That wasn’t exactly what I meant, but hey, I like your one-track mind.” </p>
<p>Courtney rolled her eyes and sat back on her elbows. Her white skirt hitched higher, revealing more skin. Another glance and Duncan’s head whiplashed back up to the ceiling. “And you know <em>that’s</em> not what I meant either. I don’t intend for you to stay the night, just for the next twenty minutes or so. Or do you think we’ll need more than twenty minutes?”  </p>
<p>Duncan’s eyes widened. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Suddenly I’m not so sure what we’re talking about. But let’s get one thing clear – I’m definitely a man that will need more than twenty minutes.”</p>
<p>“Duncan!” Courtney shrilled. “Can you <em>please</em> just be serious for once? I literally just want to talk. That’s it. Then you can go back to sleeping with the better half of California, or whatever it is you do now.” </p>
<p>He smirked. “Lighten up Princess, I’m just messing with ya. Although I’m not kidding about the twenty minutes thing.” His head dropped back down to look at her properly. “Are you even sober enough to hold a conversation?” </p>
<p>“I’m drunk, not blacked out. Now will you sit down?” </p>
<p>“Bossy as ever.” But he sat anyway. Courtney tried not to think about the fact they were less than a foot apart. </p>
<p>Courtney took a deep breath. “Thank… Thank you. I know I may not have expressed that clearly, but I do appreciate your… intervention. I apologize for my initial approach, but you really cannot afford any more discrepancies with the law.” </p>
<p>“S’okay.” Duncan said after a moment’s hesitance. “I would’ve done it for any girl in that situation, but I knew I couldn’t trust that guy the minute I laid eyes on him. I know you can handle yourself, but I had a bad feeling. His slimy hands were all over you.” His eyes narrowed. “And… for the record, I’m not trying to be like that anymore.” </p>
<p>Courtney raised an eyebrow. “By ‘that’, are you referring to not sleeping with half of California?”</p>
<p>“Let’s keep this between us.” Duncan crossed his arms with a perturbed frown. “I really hope you don’t remember any of this in the morning.”</p>
<p>“Your secret is safe with me. Not that that’s anything to be ashamed of.” Courtney gracelessly made the motion of zipping her mouth shut. “If we’re swapping secrets… The last guy was a Pi Kappa Phi.” </p>
<p>Duncan stiffened. “You mean the last guy you slept with?” </p>
<p>“Ye– yeah. Didn’t even make me cum once.” Courtney hiccupped and started to rub her eyes, then fuzzily remembered she shouldn’t do that. Why? Oh right… Makeup. “Eight months ago. I was drunk. Bridgette said lit Courtney is the best Courtney.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, Vsco girl is also dating the dingus with a permanent cowboy hat. I don’t think her judgement is as sound as you believe. Like I said, you shouldn’t be wasting your time with assholes that only care about getting themselves off.” Duncan’s voice was definitely calloused, there was no mistaking it. </p>
<p>“I’m surprised you even know what a Vsco girl even is. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd.” Courtney smirked but it faded as she looked down at her hands. “Bridgette is… A good friend. Friends are… So nice. You know I don’t…” Courtney trailed off and her hands clutched at the loose silk sheets underneath her. “I don’t have friends.”</p>
<p>“That isn’t true. You actually have roommates now. The Courtney I knew wouldn’t have been able to stand living within ten feet of people.”</p>
<p>Courtney gave a wry smile. “I suppose that’s true.”</p>
<p>“You’ve changed a lot.” </p>
<p>“So have you. You’re…”</p>
<p>“Sexier? Hotter? More fuckable?” Duncan supplied. “Or what was it you said that one time… that I have ‘danger oozing out of every pore’?”</p>
<p>Courtney sighed. “I was going to say you’re more considerate, you idiot. I take it all back now.”  </p>
<p>Duncan chuckled. “Don’t let the press know that. They’ll have a field day.” </p>
<p>“You’ve always been nice, Duncan. You’re just so… stubborn.” Courtney was beginning to get drowsy. She tugged on Duncan’s sleeve. “I’m sleepy.”</p>
<p>“So go to sleep.”</p>
<p>“But then you’ll leave. Stay here.” </p>
<p>Duncan’s eyebrows furrowed. They’ve been apart for the past seven years but apparently twenty minutes of conversation made Courtney greedy. </p>
<p>“No dice, Princess. I told you, I don’t take advantage of drunk girls. Or girls in general.”</p>
<p>Courtney gave a smirk that rivaled Duncan’s. “Darn. The one time I wanted to be taken advantage of.” </p>
<p>Duncan snorted. “Be careful what you wish for, Princess.” He made a move to leave again but Courtney placed a hand on his.</p>
<p>“Please?” The words tumbled out before she could stop them. Her voice was small and vulnerable. “Just… Stay. With me. For a few more minutes.” </p>
<p>Once again, Duncan froze. Shame and loneliness flooded Courtney. Now she remembered why she didn’t drink - because after all the craziness, the aching void only seemed to widen further. For some reason, all she could think about was her conversation with Bridgette from earlier. <em>Kids. Three of them. Surfing lessons. </em>She felt pathetic, being reduced to asking for help like this.  </p>
<p>“Fine. Fifteen more minutes.” </p>
<p>Courtney gave a tiny smile and peeled back her silk sheets. Together, they slid into bed and let the taffeta fall around them. “Does every girl have to beg you to get into bed with them? Where are your manners?” She scooted over next to him and instinctively ducked her head underneath his arm. He automatically moved to place his arm underneath her pillow and tucked her close to his chest. </p>
<p>The familiar warmth of being with him under her silk sheets triggered a lot of memories. Flashbacks of intertwined limbs, tears, and laughs flashed through her mind and they were both quiet. Courtney moved her head so that her nose skimmed the surface of his strong chest and she deduced that while his cologne was different, his natural scent was still very much the same. The same notes of mint and cedarwood with a faint smokiness that was just plain <em>Duncan</em> was like a straight shock of nostalgia to her senses. Courtney peered up at Duncan, his eyes closed and face serene as if he was sleeping, though his breathing gave him away. Courtney reached a hand up to stroke his hair, noting how different it felt without the mohawk. If she wasn’t as drunk as she was, she definitely wouldn’t be as forward. </p>
<p>Then again, if she wasn’t drunk, this wouldn’t have been happening at all. </p>
<p>“This is not how I imagined my night going.” Duncan’s voice was low and vibrated against his chest. “But I’m not complaining.”</p>
<p>“What about Geoff’s vlog?” Courtney murmured. </p>
<p>“Fuck the vlog.” Duncan scoffed. His still face rippled with a scorning frown. “Besides, you didn’t catch him back there. He was losing it without Bridgette. We all placed bets on how long he’d last until he skipped out.”  </p>
<p>Courtney giggled despite herself. “We shouldn’t be talking.” She raised a hand to gesture to their entangled predicament. “Look at us.”</p>
<p>“Like I said, I ain’t complaining. Isn’t Bridgette going to be wondering where you are?” </p>
<p>“I already texted her saying I turned in for the night.” Courtney hummed. She looked up at him fully and he met her gaze. Their faces were inches apart. </p>
<p>“Let’s play twenty questions.” Courtney suddenly blurted. The alarm bells in her mind were blaring. On her left, the devil on her shoulder smirked. On her right, the angel was positively weeping at Courtney’s predicament. </p>
<p>“Seriously?” Duncan shifted to fully look at her, an incredulous look on his face. “What are we, in middle school?” </p>
<p>“Shut up. Indulge me for a second.” </p>
<p>“Whatever you want, your highness.” </p>
<p>Courtney wrinkled her nose. “Ew. I think I prefer Princess.”</p>
<p>“‘Course you do.” Neither of them bothered to elaborate why. </p>
<p>“I’ll start. How did you end up in a band?” </p>
<p>“Don’t keep up with the tabloids much, huh Princess?” </p>
<p>Courtney scoffed. “I avoid your name like the plague, Duncan. And that’s an out of turn question.” </p>
<p>“Aw, and here I thought you didn’t care about me.” Duncan retorted. “Just add that question to my tab.” </p>
<p>Courtney’s face puckered. “That’s not how this game works! There is no adding questions to tabs!” Duncan snickered. She tried not to let the vibrations from his chest shake her judgement further and unconsciously cuddled closer to his chest. </p>
<p>“It kind of just happened. Part of rehabilitation in prison was music therapy and guitar just came naturally to me. I met the others because we were all in the same music therapy group and at first, it was just a cool way to kick it. It fuckin’ beat going to actual therapy. But after we were all discharged, they wanted to take it seriously and I went along for the ride. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I’m pretty good too.” Duncan’s face split into a cocky grin. It made Courtney’s chest fold like an origami butterfly.  </p>
<p>“You talk a big game for someone who used to only play every tenth note.” Courtney said, taking them back to Total Drama Action days. She poked his side. “It’s your turn to ask a question.” </p>
<p>“Whatever, I still won that challenge. Just proves that I was a natural talent. Is your favorite color still green?” </p>
<p>Courtney blinked, completely taken aback. “... Yes.” </p>
<p>“Then why did you always keep your room so…” Duncan made a face. “Like a hospital?” </p>
<p>“That was another out of turn question. I believe it’s my turn to ask the question, thank you very much.” </p>
<p>“Like I said, add it to my tab.” </p>
<p>Courtney scowled. “You’re lucky I’m not in peak condition, otherwise I’d kick your butt. But fine. I’ll allow it this one time.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, lucky me.” Duncan muttered. It earned him a pinch in the arm.</p>
<p>“Because…” Courtney trailed off as her arm hovered above the spot where she pinched Duncan. It left no mar, especially against the plentiful ink on his skin. She noted how the swirling patterns contrasted nicely against the paleness of his arm. “It’s like a blank slate. Unsoiled. White doesn’t leave any room for mistakes or imperfections. It’s clean, it’s orderly, and it’s safe. Like coming home to a fresh start every day.”</p>
<p>Duncan let out a mock sigh. “Still living a peanut butter-less life. Just admit it Princess, I made your life a hell of a lot more colorful.”</p>
<p>“You made my life hell, that’s for sure.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah. Whatever helps you sleep at night. It’s your turn now.”</p>
<p>There was a lengthy pause. “Why did you cheat on me?” </p>
<p>For a while, the room was dreadfully still, as if waiting on bated breath for the answer. Courtney could hear the music pounding from outside, mirroring the beating of her heart. Duncan was taking so long to answer that she wondered if she had pushed things too far. She didn’t know where these new boundaries extended between the two, but even so, this was a barrier they had never dared to breach, even right after it all happened. Before she could formulate the words to hastily take it all back, Duncan gave a heavy sigh. “Are you sure you want to know?”</p>
<p>Courtney frowned. “I asked, didn’t I? Now hurry up and answer me.”</p>
<p>“Courtney, I’m serious.” Duncan’s use of her full name stopped her short. “I need you to understand what you’re asking me. Are you positive that you want to hear the answer?” </p>
<p>Courtney quieted. She could feel Duncan’s even breaths next to her. His grip was firm, holding her in place. </p>
<p>“It’s not so much as a want than as a need.” Courtney finally said. “I need this for closure. For myself.” </p>
<p>Duncan gave a barely perceptible nod. Another pregnant silence. </p>
<p>“Because it was easy.” Duncan’s answer was so quiet that Courtney could’ve missed it had she not been pressed up right against him. “Because being with Gwen was… Easy. I… I didn’t want to hurt you.” </p>
<p>It was a shock straight to her system. Out of all the answers Courtney had dreamt of, that was definitely not one of them. Swirling emotions of white-hot anger and confusion brimmed to the surface. “You left me… Because it was easy?!” Courtney had half the mind to castrate the man right then and there. Red clouded her vision. “Because you didn’t want to hurt me? That’s such… absolute bullshit Duncan! All you did was hurt me anyway!” She tried to pull away but Duncan tightened his grasp.</p>
<p>“Princess.” Duncan said sharply. “I took the only way out I understood at the time because I was a piece of shit that didn’t know how else to leave a relationship I wasn’t happy in. I didn’t know how to confront… that. Those types of feelings. I didn’t then and sometimes I still don’t even know how.” He let out a humorless laugh that shielded more unspoken truths. “The truth was, Courtney, was that I had been unhappy for a long time but I didn’t know how to tell that to you. But… You know this, and the whole damn world does too – I was always weak for you. No matter how many times I tried to hide behind the bullshit bravado, everyone and their fuckin’ mom knew that I couldn’t ever tell you no to your face. It was… Pathetic.”</p>
<p>Courtney drank in his words with a shaky breath. “Then… why? Why string me along that whole time? You let me believe that you still lo– loved… me. That’s not being weak for me, that’s just being weak.” She could feel the anger start to bubble up like a volcano again mid-sentence, ending it with a spat. </p>
<p>“You’re the only one who ever gave a shit about me Courtney.” Duncan’s voice dropped an octave lower. “My own parents eventually stopped caring. The only person that didn’t give up on me was you. You just have – had – a fucked up way of showing it. I didn’t get it for the longest time. Why list out all my faults when you could just find someone else? Some other country club asswipe that could help cut your lobster for you? Then one day it suddenly clicked. You were just trying to look out for me. That all you wanted was for me to be my best self. But by that point, I was too… Angry. It was all twisted in my head because everything I did never felt like it was enough for you. But I still felt like I owed it to you to not disappoint you, which I knew I would do if I broke up with you. It’s fucked up, I know. I’m sorry.” </p>
<p>Courtney’s head was spinning from his admission. “I… I wish you had told me how you felt. I was no princess. I was a tyrant, Duncan. I had no right to tell you how to live your life. I shouldn’t have tried to be so controlling. I never even praised you for your efforts. But…” She sighed. “It doesn’t hurt any less when you say it. And I still don’t believe that I deserved to get cheated on.”</p>
<p>“I know. You’re right. I’m sorry. Really.” </p>
<p>She could hear the authenticity behind his words. “... I know. I am too.” </p>
<p>Things were silent for a while. Courtney soaked in the apology. Her heart was still racing from the high of Duncan and his explanation, but it was beginning to slow. She wasn’t sure if she felt gratified or simply tired from the adrenaline. </p>
<p>“Y’know Princess, things were headed downhill for a long time before that.” Duncan broke the silence. She nodded beside him. “There were too many things that led up to the whole cheating shit. We argued more than we talked. Not that that’s any excuse for what I did. So when Gwen presented such an easy way out… I jumped. I felt like everything I ever did was all for you. Nothing felt like it was for myself anymore. So I finally said fuck it. It was the first time I felt truly in control of my own decisions. I never even thought of Gwen that way until she made those types of feelings clear.” </p>
<p>“I know that too.” Courtney said softly. Duncan raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“What?” Courtney’s tone was defensive. “It didn’t take a psychic to see how toxic we were becoming. I think we hit peak lethal in Total Drama Action. It’s kind of sad when you rewatch the episodes. And I still kind of think it’s my fault for you ending up with Gwen. I practically pushed you two together with my jealousy. I totally jinxed it.” </p>
<p>“You rewatched the episodes?” </p>
<p>“I did in therapy. And with my PR agent.” </p>
<p>Duncan paused. “I did in therapy too. A lot.” He shuddered. Courtney couldn’t help but giggle. </p>
<p>“Well, I suppose we all needed therapy in life post-Drama. I still can’t believe you went though. All that pestering and you finally took my advice to heart.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, well in prison you don’t exactly get a choice.” Duncan grumbled. “My issues didn’t seem half as fucked up as some of the other crazies in there, thank god.” </p>
<p>Another pause. Courtney took the time to search for any other traces of anger left in the wake of his words. While he wasn’t entirely forgiven, a sense of bittersweet peace enveloped the two like a white flag on the silk of her sheets. </p>
<p>“You know,” Courtney said deliriously. “I have this list.” </p>
<p>Duncan raised an eyebrow. “Do tell.”</p>
<p>“You’re going to think I’m psychotic.” </p>
<p>“It’s a little too late for that, sweet cheeks. Ow!” </p>
<p>“Seriously though, don’t freak out.” Courtney ignored his cry of pain. </p>
<p>Duncan’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re definitely going to make me if you don’t spit it out and tell me what this damn list is.” </p>
<p>“Well…” Courtney sighed and shifted around the bed, feeling along the mattress. “I think it’s just easier if I show you.” </p>
<p>“Oh… Kay.” Duncan said slowly as Courtney unlocked her iPhone. “You’re not going to show me pictures of any dead bodies, right? Because I cannot afford another couple of years to my record.” <br/><br/>“And you call me the drama queen.” Courtney rolled her eyes. “See for yourself.”</p>
<p>Duncan’s eyes widened comically as he sifted through each list, folder by folder, reason by reason. He whistled. “No way. And here I thought you weren’t keeping tabs on me all these years. Princess, I don’t know whether I should be scared or flattered.”</p>
<p>Courtney felt her embarrassment reflect on her face with a red flush. “Ugh. Never mind, just forget you saw any of that.” She snapped. She reached over to try to snatch the phone out of his hands but he merely pushed her away at arm’s length.  </p>
<p>“Down girl. We have to talk about this.”</p>
<p>“There’s nothing to talk about!” Courtney lurched forward again and he merely pushed her down. She ended up sprawled in his lap. </p>
<p>“Talk about a role reversal. Weren’t you the one just insisting that we needed to talk? So answer me. Why do you have this? How long did this even take you?” </p>
<p>Courtney flushed harder, unsure if it was due to her compromising position or the exploitation. “None of your business.”</p>
<p>“I’d say it’s just the opposite actually. You’ve made it very clear that this <em>is</em> my business.” Duncan raised a brow. “Seriously Courtney, how long have you had these… Lists for?” </p>
<p>Courtney looked away. “Since we broke up.” She muttered, unable to raise her voice. </p>
<p>“Holy shit.” Duncan’s voice was almost reverent. She groaned.</p>
<p>“This was a mistake.” Courtney was able to finally snatch the phone from his hand and threw it away. It tumbled on the bed and onto the floor with a loud clatter. </p>
<p>Duncan raised his now empty hands in the air. “I’m not judging you; I swear. But… Why?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know.” Courtney was talking into Duncan’s pants now. </p>
<p>“Yes, you do.” He lifted her chin up. </p>
<p>Another staring contest ensued. Courtney forgot how alive those sweet teal blues made her feel. How piercing they were when they were fixated on her and only her. Duncan’s hand traced the outline of her jaw and she bit her lip. Her heart rate gained momentum. His expression was coaxing, almost gentle. </p>
<p>“For every… Reason. There’s a flip side to it.”</p>
<p>Duncan didn’t say anything, prodding her to continue. She sighed and rolled onto her back to stare up at the white abyss of her ceiling. A throb of apprehension went through her. </p>
<p>“I’ve been… Lying to myself. Because for every reason to hate you was a reason to hate myself more for. A reminder that I failed to… I don’t know, try harder to prevent our demise from happening. Like a double-edged sword.”</p>
<p>Duncan let out an audible scoff. “And that includes the time I got caught shoplifting from Target and got banned from the mall? What’s the counter-argument there?” </p>
<p>Courtney huffed. “I don’t know! I could have convinced you not to, for starters! You’re still an idiot for that, by the way. I didn’t need a new planner that badly. Or I could’ve just bought it, like a normal person.” </p>
<p>“Princess, no offense, but that’s stupid as fuck.” Duncan blurted. Courtney’s jaw dropped and sat up so quickly that she almost knocked her head into his. “Relax! Hear me out. There’s no possible way you could have prevented all of that from happening. If you’re still so stuck on correcting the past, then you’ve learned nothing.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?!” Courtney cried indignantly. “I wrote those lists to learn from them! To prevent anything like that from happening again! To remind myself of all my failures and to know what works and what doesn’t in relationships!”</p>
<p>“See, that’s exactly it though. Learn from them all you want. But you’re just punishing yourself for something you had no control over in the first place. My actions weren’t your responsibility. I know I said I felt otherwise, but I was a fucking coward. You’re right, I wasn’t just weak for you, I was weak period.” Duncan took a deep breath. Courtney was trembling. “You were my girlfriend Courtney, not my mom. Think about it – in your next relationship, you planned on using this for reference, right? That because I – you – whoever failed at preventing a specific disaster from happening, you’re not going to let that happen with whoever you’re with next. But that’s the thing about people. You can’t control them, you can’t gatekeep them, no matter what. You’re trying to prevent something that you don’t know will happen. You tried to control me and look at what happened. It didn’t work, right? That’s where trust comes in.” </p>
<p>“But…”</p>
<p>“I know. You don’t trust easily. I’m sure I didn’t make it any easier.” Duncan grimaced. “My point is, Princess, is that it’s all just gonna be a vicious cycle until you stop trying to control the outcome. Shit never goes according to plan half the time. Strategize, list, plan all you can but at the end of the day, people are going to do whatever the hell they want.” He smirked. “I’m not saying you can’t learn from the past. But obsessing over the worst parts of it won’t do any good either. As flattered as I am that you’ve clearly put so much thought into our relationship, how we ended was not your fault. At least not entirely. There was nothing more you could have done.” He said the rest gently. </p>
<p>
  <em>There was nothing more you could have done.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>There was nothing more you could have done.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>There was nothing more you could have done.</em>
</p>
<p>Courtney stared at Duncan with wide eyes. She felt like he had just slapped her. Her heart was certainly racing like he had. A tide was welling up within her and all at once, the flood suddenly broke. The roaring in her ears went mute and she felt a pressure from behind her eyes. Before she even realized it herself, an arsenal of tears bulleted down her cheeks. They were relentless in its wake. </p>
<p>Duncan said nothing, only scooped her up so she was now straddling his lap. A hand stroked her hair as the other was wrapped around her waist. She could see his inked neck magnifying under the droplets, emphasizing every small iota of skin that was so familiar and yet so foreign. </p>
<p>
  <em>What is this feeling? Why am I crying so much? </em>
</p>
<p>Courtney hated it when Duncan was right. It was a cruel irony to be comforted by the person she shared this pain with. But with startling clarity, she realized that the only person she hadn’t learned to forgive was herself. Not Duncan, not Gwen, but herself for not “knowing any better”. She really did take control freak to an extreme level. Her whole life had been plotted meticulously down to the last decimal but even now at twenty-four years old, she wasn’t as nearly as happy as she thought she’d be in abiding by these standards she’s set for herself. </p>
<p>Courtney almost choked on her tears at the thought, marveling at the ridiculousness. How could she have possibly known any better?! She had been seventeen, for crying out loud! But being proved wrong in her ideals provided such a huge relief that for once in her life, she was actually glad for it. All these years of obsessing over what went right and wrong in this relationship, all these years of blaming herself… She had been so <em>scared, </em>so <em>fixated </em>that history would repeat itself all over again that she let it immobilize her. </p>
<p>She had forgotten the most important part of forgiveness: letting go.</p>
<p>The tears finally ebbed; her sniffles muted in the dead quiet of the room. The sounds from the party seemed to have lulled completely. In the back of her mind, Courtney wondered what time it was. Probably early morning if people were gone. Suddenly, she was overcome with a foreign bashfulness that she hadn’t experienced around Duncan in a very long time. It made her feel silly in itself, for feeling sheepish around someone that’s virtually seen every part of her. </p>
<p>“I’m so pathetic.” Courtney whispered against his neck. Duncan frowned and pushed her up so they were face to face. </p>
<p>“No, you’re not. I can’t believe you’ve been bottling all this in for so long. You have a shit therapist.” Duncan wiped away the remaining tears on her cheeks. </p>
<p>Courtney let the remark pass. “You’ve always naturally attracted people, Duncan. I’m… the opposite. I repel them. I’m usually the one to blame for my failed relationships.” </p>
<p>“You didn’t have a hard time attracting dickwad out there. A little too well.” Duncan tried to joke. She rolled her eyes and slapped his chest. </p>
<p>“Too soon.”</p>
<p>“Sorry. It really doesn’t come as easy as you think Princess. To put it into perspective, I’ve been in the industry since we were sixteen. I’ve come across a lot of kiss-asses and I’m sure you have too. They just look like friends but they ain’t shit. You, you manage to weed all the fakes out. Your goals always shone too bright for most people to look at. Myself included. Besides, you’ve got actual ride or dies now.” </p>
<p>“You mean Bridgette and Geoff?” </p>
<p>“They can be tweedledum and tweedledee but I know they’ve got your back. They really care about you. They also talk about you a lot.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Courtney was astonished. </p>
<p>“Yeah. They constantly complain about you. Ouch, ouch! I’m kidding! Sheesh Princess, you’ve gotten even more heavy-handed in these past seven years.”</p>
<p>“I wasn’t even aware you talked to them that much.” </p>
<p>Duncan cast her a dubious look. “With that monstrosity of a list? I’m sure they thought better than to bring me up. Ow, watch the hair!” </p>
<p>“Am I really such a ticking time bomb?” Courtney asked, mortified. </p>
<p>“Nah, you’re just the same uptight Princess with a pole up her butt.” Duncan said, eyes alight with mirth. Courtney snorted. </p>
<p>“You really haven’t gotten more original in the past seven years. Your insults are rusty.” </p>
<p>“But the pole up your butt is such a classic. It’s still there, by the way. It’s gotten even worse since I’ve been gone.”</p>
<p>“And how do you suppose I amend that? I think I need help.” Courtney didn’t even recognize her own voice. It was hoarse and suggestive. She was suddenly hyperaware of her position, still straddling his lap. Her skirt was bunched up around her hips. Duncan seemed to notice too and pulled her closer, possessive and tight with his grip. </p>
<p>“You can’t. It’s stuck there, permanently.” Duncan’s hands snaked down her waist to stroke the bare skin of her legs. She bit her lip. This conversation was quickly spiraling into dangerous waters. The alarm bells in her head were earsplitting. </p>
<p><em>This is moving way too fast. We literally just received closure minutes ago. Is this healthy? </em>Despite herself, Courtney clicked her tongue. “A darn shame.”</p>
<p>“But you know… I dig that in a chick.” Courtney was hypnotized by his eyes. <em>Was his face this close before?</em></p>
<p>“I hope you don’t expect me to dignify that with a response.” She said, lips mere inches from his. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to say anything. Why not show me instead?” Duncan challenged. His eyes flickered from their lips to her eyes.</p>
<p>Courtney smirked. “You’re still not my type.” </p>
<p>“And you still make me sick.” With that, their lips finally met.</p>
<p>Everything within Courtney boiled. Kissing Duncan was like slipping into a hot tub – no matter how many times it was done, it didn’t stop feeling just as amazing as the first. She felt her bones shake and melt all at the same time, coming apart and coming together, his lips becoming her glue. It was a familiar dance, taking her back to their summers as sixteen-year-olds that wanted nothing more to explore one another. But it had changed – more tricks had been picked up along the seven years. A pleasant shudder went down her spine as Duncan kissed her down, traveling from her jaw to her neck. She bit Duncan’s earlobe and sucked lightly, earning him a groan. He squeezed a handful of her ass in admonition. Goosebumps spread on her arms like wildfire, the spot between her legs heavy. </p>
<p>“Duncan,” Courtney moaned as he blew on a spot on her neck that he had been sucking. “We…” </p>
<p>“Use your words, Princess.” Duncan’s voice was muffled as he was buried in her neck once again. <em>Asshole.</em> Her neck had always been her weak spot. Suddenly, he flipped them over so that she was on her back. His hands clasped hers as he pinned her arms above her head.</p>
<p>“Duncan,” Courtney breathed again, trying to summon a warning in her voice. He ignored her as he captured her lips. Courtney managed to gently pry herself apart. “It’s too soon.” She wrapped her legs around his waist. She was desperate for friction, urging him to press closer despite her rebuke. </p>
<p>“I’m not sure if you want to do that babe.” Duncan’s voice was gruff. Both of them were panting, eyes locked. His hands moved to squeeze the tops of her bare thighs under her skirt and groaned. “How in the hell do you expect me to walk away after tonight, Courtney?” </p>
<p>Courtney let out an uncharacteristic whimper. Duncan growled and bent forward to kiss her again. It was more chaste than the ones prior, but still sent a throb of wanting throughout Courtney. </p>
<p>“I understand.” Duncan sighed. She arched as he slid his hands down her body, liquefying her from the heat of his palms. He settled down to rest atop of her, careful not to crush her with his body weight. She could feel him everywhere. “And I agree. Baby steps.”</p>
<p>Their heartbeats slowed. She stroked a hand through his hair, and he melted, turning into putty. She could feel her eyes getting heavier, the need to sleep tugging her away into the darkness. </p>
<p>“Stay. Just for tonight.” Courtney managed to mumble. She felt Duncan shift, moving her so that he was spooning her. </p>
<p>“Sure, Princess. Just for tonight.” Was the last thing she heard. She fell asleep with a smile, his arms enveloped around her waist, cocooning her into a safe haven of peace. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When she woke up the next morning, Duncan was already awake. She groaned as her eyes opened a crack to see a shirtless Duncan strolling out of her bathroom. Normally, she’d ogle at the rippling muscles – damn, this boy was <em>truly</em> a man now – but the pounding headache rendered her useless.</p><p>“Morning sunshine. Thank god you still keep your emergency kit in the same place.” He said around a mouthful of toothbrush. </p><p>“What can I say, I’m a creature of habit.” Courtney croaked. “What time is it?” </p><p>“Bright and early at ten fifteen. There’s Tylenol and water next to you.” Duncan nodded to her bedside table and retreated back into the bathroom. </p><p><em>God bless.</em> Courtney almost cried with relief as she hastily gulped the water in one go. She stretched, grabbed a random t-shirt and shorts, and stumbled into the bathroom. </p><p>“Out.” Courtney commanded Duncan. “I need to shower, now.” She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and cringed. “Actually, like five minutes ago. Ugh.”</p><p>“Anything for you, sleeping beauty.” Duncan said sarcastically. He whipped the towel on Courtney’s butt upon exiting. She yelped and rolled her eyes. </p><p>A hot shower and another bottle of water later, Courtney padded into her room where Duncan was lying on her bed, talking on the phone. He slid off as he saw her approach, giving her the space to change the sheets. He disappeared into the bathroom once again, grunting detachedly in response to whoever he was on the phone with. The domesticity of all of this was not lost upon her, but she tried to ignore it for the sake of not making things awkward. </p><p>“I have interviews all day starting at one.” Duncan sighed as he emerged from the bathroom. “I’m going to need to head out soon.”</p><p>Courtney nodded resignedly. She didn’t know what to expect after all of this. <em>Are we friends? Ish? </em>Courtney found the thought disturbing. For all their talking and not-so-talking last night, they had surely crossed the “friends” line, but the boundaries were so muddled that she was still left with several questions. Would he want to see her again? Would they keep in touch when he had to inevitably go back home? </p><p>Looks like they still had some things to figure out. </p><p>“Let me at least make you breakfast.” Courtney said. “Hopefully our kitchen isn’t too wrecked.” She made a face. </p><p>She led him through the silent apartment. While the damage wasn’t as bad as she had expected, she was still going to need to dedicate a few hours to thoroughly clean. She grimaced as she swept a handful of beer cans into the trash to clear space on their kitchen counter. Even Duncan helped, chucking random bottle caps and red cups. After a few minutes of cleaning, she finally managed to whip up his favorite – pancakes with extra syrup. </p><p>Duncan groaned as she set the plate in front of him. “Princess, you spoil me.” </p><p>“I still don’t know how you haven’t rotted all your teeth out.” Courtney leaned over across from him with her own plate and cup of black coffee. “You have the biggest sweet tooth out of everyone I’ve ever met.” </p><p>Duncan winked. “Must be why I like you so much. Although you edge on spicy most of the time.” </p><p>Courtney took a sip of her black coffee. “Keep talking and my right hook will break your teeth faster than those sweets.”</p><p>“I love it when you talk dirty to me.” Duncan said over a forkful of pancake. </p><p>Geoff chose that moment to shuffle into the kitchen, shirtless and hair sticking up in several different directions like a broom. He looked atrocious. “Who’s talking dirty?” </p><p>“No one.” Courtney snapped. She didn’t know if this was a skill Geoff had acquired as a YouTuber or what, but his timing was seriously starting to piss her off. Still, she handed him a mug of hot coffee. His face lit up. </p><p>“Thanks Court!” Geoff already looked ten times more awake. He was an even bigger coffee fiend than Courtney, and her addiction was already quite dangerous as it was. He looked back and forth between the two and grinned. </p><p>“Anything interesting happen last night, bros?” Geoff tried to keep his tone casual, but the undercurrent of excitement was unmistakable. “What’s Duncan still doing here?”</p><p>“Down boy. Nothing happened.” Duncan smoothly covered for the both of them. “I crashed on the couch. I don’t drink and drive.” </p><p>“Oh.” Geoff slumped, but then perked. <em>The host in him just really can’t let shit go, huh?</em> “But she made you breakfast?” </p><p>Courtney huffed. “Geoff, shouldn’t you go see if Bridgette is okay? I think she’d really appreciate it if she woke up with some Advil and water.” </p><p>Geoff’s eyes widened. “Courtney, you’re a genius! I’ll look like the best boyfriend ever!” He missed the smug look Duncan shot Courtney at that. She stuck her tongue out at him when she knew Geoff wasn’t looking. “Crap, where did I put the Advil?” With that, Geoff fled the kitchen. </p><p>“Thanks.” Courtney said begrudgingly as soon as Geoff was out of earshot. Duncan only smirked. </p><p>“As fun as this was, I really do need to be taking off.” He loaded his syrup plastered plate into the sink and Courtney nodded. </p><p>“I’ll walk you out.” Courtney followed Duncan out into the hallway. She raised an eyebrow as he retrieved a helmet and leather jacket out of their jacket closet. </p><p>“What? Safety first.” Duncan said as he twirled the helmet in his hand. Courtney’s eyes widened as it clicked. </p><p>“You have a motorcycle?!” </p><p>“Hell yes I do. Black, sexy, and Harley baby.” </p><p>“But… How did you bring that down from?...” </p><p>“Did I mention I’m moving to L.A.?” Duncan said casually as he zipped his jacket up. Courtney’s jaw dropped. “Actually we, not just me. My whole band signed a label, that’s what this whole interview shit is about today.” </p><p>“Duncan, that’s amazing!” Courtney couldn’t help the beaming smile that split across her face. Excitement and hope bubbled in her stomach. “I’m so happy for you!”</p><p>Duncan grinned. The sparkle in his teal eyes were glittering. “Thanks Princess. Speaking of which, my other Princess awaits.” He opened the door and pointed to the sleek Harley-Davidson motorcycle parked on the street. </p><p>“You named your motorcycle Princess?!” Courtney didn’t know if she was flattered or horrified.</p><p>“Yup.” Duncan shrugged unabashedly. She waited for an explanation, but none came. </p><p>Courtney shook her head, but a small smile gave her away. “You are something else. Please be safe while riding… Princess, then.” She wrinkled her nose. “It feels like I’m saying my own name.”  </p><p>Duncan laughed and pulled her in for a hug. She breathed in his scent one last time and wrapped her hands around him as best as she could. </p><p>“Don’t be a stranger, Courtney.” She heard him murmur into her hair. “You have my number.”</p><p>“I do?”</p><p>“I put it in your phone last night when I was looking over your lists.” </p><p>Courtney snorted. She pulled away to properly look at him. “Forcing the girl to make the first move? How classy, Duncan.” </p><p>Duncan grinned. “Yeah well, you’re not just any girl Princess. I’ll be waiting for that text.” </p><p>Her heart skipped at his words. “Bye Duncan.” She said softly. With another breathtaking smile, he took off. She stepped outside and watched as his figure grew small until it disappeared from sight. </p><p>“Want to explain what that was?” Courtney froze at the drawling voice, seeing two blondes waiting with their arms crossed as soon as she closed the door behind her. Geoff and Bridgette wore twinning wide smirks and turn to high-fived one another.</p><p>“Looks like Operation Duncney was a total success!” </p><p>“... Operation WHAT?!”</p><p>
  <em>Reason #1 to kill my roommates: Absolute traitors, both of them!</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>A few weeks later…</em>
</p><p>“Are you sure you want to make this change, Courtney?” Ms. Rivera, Courtney’s favorite advisor asked. In front of them was a printed-out copy of Courtney’s current transcript. </p><p>Courtney nodded. “I’m sure.” </p><p>“Okay well…” Ms. Rivera thumbed through Courtney’s transcript neatly. “Luckily, most of your credits can be transferred over to your new emphasis. However, you will either have to double your course load or take classes during the summer or winter sessions if you still plan on graduating on time. Not that I doubt you, but I do need to ask as protocol. Are you sure you’re willing to do that?” </p><p>“Yes. I’m absolutely positive I can handle it.” Courtney said confidently. Even saying the words aloud reinstilled a belief in herself that hadn’t been there in months. </p><p>“Alrighty then.” Ms. Rivera swiveled back to the computer on her desk. “Not that Criminal Law isn’t an excellent choice, but may I ask why the sudden change?” </p><p>Courtney gave a small smile and shrugged. “There are a lot of reasons, but someone important to me recently opened my eyes to the abundance of flaws within the American criminal justice system. I think this line of work is overall better suited to my aspirations and morals.” </p><p>Ms. Rivera nodded in approval. “We’ll have to chat about this in depth over coffee soon. Just give me a couple seconds… And voila! Congratulations Courtney, your new concentration in Criminal Law is all set!” </p><p>Courtney beamed. “Thank you so much Ms. Rivera. I really appreciate the work you did to fight for the change on my behalf.” </p><p> “Oh, don’t even mention it honey.” Ms. Rivera waved her off. “I only expect the finest of chocolates on my desk tomorrow morning.” She winked.</p><p>“Already arranged, ma’am.” Courtney said as she closed her office door with a returning wink. She could hear Ms. Rivera’s delighted laugh from down the hall. </p><p>
  <em>Reason #22 on why I love my life: Who said allies only existed in Total Drama?  </em>
</p><p>As soon as she finished jotting the addition to her new gratitude list, a YouTube notification popped up. She frowned as she swiped it down to read the additional information when she bumped into something warm and solid. </p><p>“Oh excuse me – ” Courtney began and looked up. She scowled. “Never mind.”</p><p>“You are <em>so</em> lucky I don’t have a coffee in my hand.” Paris sneered. “Not that I would’ve minded if that meant soiling that hideous shirt of yours. Seriously Courtney, where do you shop? Goodwill?” </p><p> Of all people to run into on her day off, it <em>had </em>to be her.</p><p>“Is that supposed to be an insult, Paris? What exactly are you insinuating? Your misconception about thrifting being exclusive to lower bracket communities is dated and frankly, downright wrong in so many respects. My vintage –”  </p><p>“Shhhhhh!” </p><p>“You <em>did not </em>just <em>shush </em>me –”</p><p>“Oh my God Courtney, shut up! There’s a totally hot guy over there. I need to make sure he doesn’t catch me dead with a harridan like you.” Faster than Courtney could blink, Paris managed to whip out a compact mirror and brush from her impossibly small clown purse that seemed to fit everything. <em>Harridan? I’m surprised she even knows that word. </em></p><p>“Paris,” Courtney began dully. “Not that I care, but who are you talking about so I know where not to walk?” </p><p>“Seriously Courtney, are you freaking blind? I’m talking about the sex god with the motorcycle over there! Jesus, that man could fog up windows at an elderly home.” Paris peeked over Courtney’s shoulder again and ducked quickly to presumably hide. </p><p>Courtney whirled around to where Paris was pointing, and -</p><p>“<em>What are you laughing at?!” </em>Paris demanded as Courtney doubled over. Genuine tears streamed down her cheeks. “Stop! He’ll see me!” </p><p>“Nothing,” Courtney wiped the amused tears away. “Fog windows at an elderly home, huh? I’ll tell him you said so.”</p><p>“What?! You know him?!” </p><p>Courtney only smirked and patted Paris’s head, despite the nonexistent height difference. “Would you believe me if I said he was my ex-boyfriend that I co-starred on a reality TV show with throughout all of high school and then some, then lost touch for seven years, only to reconnect again here in L.A. just recently?”</p><p>“... What the fuck? What are you, some sort of psychopath? You’re way too much of a prude to be on T.V.” Paris scowled and batted Courtney’s hand away. “Don’t touch me, you weirdo!”</p><p>“Funny, that’s what everyone else said too when I applied. I still don’t see it. Ah, well. Not that I have anything to prove to you but seems like I have a hot date waiting for me. See you in class Paris!” She practically sprinted away, ignoring Paris’s stream of obscenities directed towards her. </p><p>“Was that Lindsay?” Duncan looked befuddled. “Damn, I guess anyone can get into college nowadays.”</p><p>“Nope, someone even worse.” Courtney said, a little too happily. “She said that you could fog windows at an elderly home.” </p><p>“What?” </p><p>“Nothing. I’m starving, did you pick up the Thai food already?” </p><p>“What?! I thought you told me to get Italian!”</p><p>“Duncan, I swear to <em>god-” </em></p><p>Duncan held up a plastic bag with a grin, the smell of <em>pad see ew</em> wafting in the air. “Kidding. Chill, drama queen.” </p><p>A vibration from her pocket reminded her of something. She pulled it out and her eyebrows furrowed at the amount of notifications she was getting. Duncan glanced over her shoulder to peer at it and did a double take. He abruptly plucked the phone out of her hands.</p><p>"Duncan!” She yelled. “You can’t just read my messages without my permission like that! Not only is that a major invasion of privacy, but you can get into serious trouble with the law, I mean imagine if I decided to press charges. I would definitely win because not only do you not have ownership over the phone but even if I gave you permission once that doesn’t give you… Perpetual license…” </p><p>She trailed off as his eyes progressively grew bigger and bigger. It was clear he hadn’t been listening to a word she was saying but a bad mixture of trepidation and alarm began to creep up on her. </p><p>“Uh, babe? Before you blow up, I’m sure it sounds worse than it actually is.” </p><p>“What are you talking about? And don’t call me babe, we’re not dating Duncan.” Courtney swiped her phone back out of Duncan’s hands. </p><p>“Yet.” He mumbled. She didn’t notice. </p><p>
  <em>Title: DUNCNEY BACK TOGETHER???!! (NOT CLICKBAIT!!)</em>
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  <em>Video Info: Hey dudes! Y’all remember #Duncney from Total Drama right? Well this comes hot off the Geoff –  heh get it? –  that they just might be back together!! Things got real sloppy at the latest Project Geoff party… And… Let’s just say we are totally back on the Duncney train (not that we ever left)! Comment down below what y’all think! Do you ship it or nah?! Peace and love my fresh to Geoff-inators!! </em>
</p><p>“Oh, I’m so going to kill that immature, dimwitted, absolute <em>moron </em>of a –!” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>WOW. </p><p>Okay so… This was by far the hardest fic I’ve ever written. As well as my longest and most dwelled upon fic too. But nearly three months, hundreds of rewrites, and 28 pages of cuts later, I think I’m finally happy enough to post this. </p><p>Thank you for reading and making through all 19,532 words!! Not including the Author Notes. I was originally going to post this as one massive one-shot, but it’s a bit much to read in one big dump. I tried to split it up into the 3 parts as best as I could, so hopefully it worked! This was also originally supposed to have more of a bittersweet/angsty-ish ending, but I couldn’t resist - I just want these babies to be happy (preferably together)! I’ve been writing Duncney since freaking 2010 and it still doesn’t get easier. To be honest, I fell off the Duncney train for a long time but one day I decided to read my old fics for the hell of it. If any of you happened to actually read my old works (which I am both deeply appreciative and apologetic for), you probably noticed that this was based off of 501 Reasons Why (posted on FFN)! The whole time while I was re-reading 501 Reasons Why, I couldn’t help but think about how much better it could be if I wrote it now. So, with sudden renewed vigor, the Duncney shipper in me was cardioversion-ed back to life. Not that it ever really died. </p><p>Anyways, this is probably my last Duncney fic. But who knows? Maybe in another 5 years (or less) I’ll suddenly re-awaken all my love for them. I do hope that I did justice to these characters I love so dearly. </p><p>Feel free to reach out to me either here, FFN (@lavenderslotus), or on tumblr (@lavenderslotus)! I would love to hear from you guys. Thank you so, so much again from the bottom of my heart for reading! :)</p>
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